登陆注册
15317200000084

第84章

She had let go the outer world, but within herself she was unbroken and unimpaired.She only sat in her room like a moping, dishevelled hawk, motionless, mindless.Her children, for whom she had been so fierce in her youth, now meant scarcely anything to her.She had lost all that, she was quite by herself.Only Gerald, the gleaming, had some existence for her.But of late years, since he had become head of the business, he too was forgotten.Whereas the father, now he was dying, turned for compassion to Gerald.There had always been opposition between the two of them.Gerald had feared and despised his father, and to a great extent had avoided him all through boyhood and young manhood.And the father had felt very often a real dislike of his eldest son, which, never wanting to give way to, he had refused to acknowledge.He had ignored Gerald as much as possible, leaving him alone.

Since, however, Gerald had come home and assumed responsibility in the firm, and had proved such a wonderful director, the father, tired and weary of all outside concerns, had put all his trust of these things in his son, implicitly, leaving everything to him, and assuming a rather touching dependence on the young enemy.This immediately roused a poignant pity and allegiance in Gerald's heart, always shadowed by contempt and by unadmitted enmity.

For Gerald was in reaction against Charity; and yet he was dominated by it, it assumed supremacy in the inner life, and he could not confute it.

So he was partly subject to that which his father stood for, but he was in reaction against it.Now he could not save himself.A certain pity and grief and tenderness for his father overcame him, in spite of the deeper, more sullen hostility.

The father won shelter from Gerald through compassion.But for love he had Winifred.She was his youngest child, she was the only one of his children whom he had ever closely loved.And her he loved with all the great, overweening, sheltering love of a dying man.He wanted to shelter her infinitely, infinitely, to wrap her in warmth and love and shelter, perfectly.If he could save her she should never know one pain, one grief, one hurt.He had been so right all his life, so constant in his kindness and his goodness.And this was his last passionate righteousness, his love for the child Winifred.Some things troubled him yet.The world had passed away from him, as his strength ebbed.There were no more poor and injured and humble to protect and succour.These were all lost to him.There were no more sons and daughters to trouble him, and to weigh on him as an unnatural responsibility.These too had faded out of reality All these things had fallen out of his hands, and left him free.

There remained the covert fear and horror of his wife, as she sat mindless and strange in her room, or as she came forth with slow, prowling step, her head bent forward.But this he put away.Even his life-long righteousness, however, would not quite deliver him from the inner horror.Still, he could keep it sufficiently at bay.It would never break forth openly.Death would come first.

Then there was Winifred! If only he could be sure about her, if only he could be sure.Since the death of Diana, and the development of his illness, his craving for surety with regard to Winifred amounted almost to obsession.It was as if, even dying, he must have some anxiety, some responsibility of love, of Charity, upon his heart.

She was an odd, sensitive, inflammable child, having her father's dark hair and quiet bearing, but being quite detached, momentaneous.She was like a changeling indeed, as if her feelings did not matter to her, really.

She often seemed to be talking and playing like the gayest and most childish of children, she was full of the warmest, most delightful affection for a few things -- for her father, and for her animals in particular.But if she heard that her beloved kitten Leo had been run over by the motor-car she put her head on one side, and replied, with a faint contraction like resentment on her face: `Has he?' Then she took no more notice.She only disliked the servant who would force bad news on her, and wanted her to be sorry.She wished not to know, and that seemed her chief motive.She avoided her mother, and most of the members of her family.She loved her Daddy, because he wanted her always to be happy, and because he seemed to become young again, and irresponsible in her presence.She liked Gerald, because he was so self-contained.She loved people who would make life a game for her.She had an amazing instinctive critical faculty, and was a pure anarchist, a pure aristocrat at once.For she accepted her equals wherever she found them, and she ignored with blithe indifference her inferiors, whether they were her brothers and sisters, or whether they were wealthy guests of the house, or whether they were the common people or the servants.

She was quite single and by herself, deriving from nobody.It was as if she were cut off from all purpose or continuity, and existed simply moment by moment.

The father, as by some strange final illusion, felt as if all his fate depended on his ensuring to Winifred her happiness.She who could never suffer, because she never formed vital connections, she who could lose the dearest things of her life and be just the same the next day, the whole memory dropped out, as if deliberately, she whose will was so strangely and easily free, anarchistic, almost nihilistic, who like a soulless bird flits on its own will, without attachment or responsibility beyond the moment, who in her every motion snapped the threads of serious relationship with blithe, free hands, really nihilistic, because never troubled, she must be the object of her father's final passionate solicitude.

When Mr Crich heard that Gudrun Brangwen might come to help Winifred with her drawing and modelling he saw a road to salvation for his child.

同类推荐
  • 杂占

    杂占

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 诸法无行经

    诸法无行经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 玉壶野史

    玉壶野史

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 道林寺

    道林寺

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 洞真上清龙飞九道尺素隐诀

    洞真上清龙飞九道尺素隐诀

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 黑白武皇

    黑白武皇

    这是一个简单的世界,一切非黑即白,这是一个复杂的世界,因为白里有黑,当鲜血的猩红与雷电的紫光重叠,正义与邪恶模糊了界线,一代武皇段云飞战天、战地、战神,一剑击穿黑与白的重重壁垒,傲然屹立……世界还是如此简单!!
  • 公主唯一的爱

    公主唯一的爱

    一个漂亮的女孩,高冷.她曾被伤害过,为此才变的高冷,所以她下定决心,从今以后她不会在爱任何一个人,可是她没想到自己竟然爱上他。(女主不只有她,可她是重要的,所以简介只介绍她咯,求原谅)
  • 29岁再恋爱

    29岁再恋爱

    一个完全相信命运的人变成了对命运半信半疑的人,一个完全不信命运的人开始相信命运的存在。他们都在成长着,改变着。到最后不禁让人思考与发问:命运到底有没有?如果有那么一切都是注定的吗?
  • tfboys和桐琪星

    tfboys和桐琪星

    撒娇女王遇上虎牙少年:【小凯,你就不要生气了嘛~n(*≧▽≦*)n】【噢!别的男生在我的女朋友脸上亲一口,我不生气吗!】【karry哥哥欺负我,呜呜呜呜呜…………你奏凯!】【Σ(っ°Д°;)っ】吃货女遇上吃货男:【王二源!不要抢我的吃的!你自己有一大柜子好不好!】【我的零食已经吃完了!吃一点你的又不会怎么样!大不了下次我有钱了,我带你去!吃!大!餐!】【真的,那好。咱俩一起吃我的零食吧!】【?(?òωó?)?yes!成功了!】温柔女神遇上体贴男神:【林星,你怎么那么不小心啊,都摔到了还说没事!】【千玺,对不起,让你担心我了,抱歉啊。】【唉~没事没事,你下次小小心一点就行了】【嗯~】
  • 生存恐慌

    生存恐慌

    林烨收到了一个戴鸭舌帽女孩塞给他的未知针剂,然后他被卷入了一趟通往未知的地铁,在无尽的生存恐慌里,经历一个个光怪陆离的世界。人性善恶,生死扭曲,尽在生存恐慌。
  • 杀手狂妃太子你混蛋

    杀手狂妃太子你混蛋

    “老天爷,本宝宝可以第一杀手”。老天“你确定……”白露依:“好吧,我将来会是的”。老天:“你还是好好呆这吧”。数载后:“皇上,皇后她把玉贵人打了”。“哦,那伤着没”。“玉贵人她……”。“朕问你露依的手疼不疼,若里疼了叫她拿棒子,别用手”。【1V1,宠文x1】
  • 穿越之美男别乱来

    穿越之美男别乱来

    【全本免费】旅游穿越就算了,为毛她还穿越在了荒无人烟的冰天雪地?还有个千年狐妖说是她的奴婢?擦,美男……咱有话好好说,你别动手动脚的好嘛?人家会把持不住的啦!!
  • 诛心锁

    诛心锁

    梧桐不落依菩提,瑰玉升烟化玄光。三日同辉映天地,不见彩凤不求凰。
  • 绝色伪少:美人跟爷走

    绝色伪少:美人跟爷走

    赤金国自立国以来便有一个不成文的规矩:楚家有女,必为后。可如果楚家生不出女儿呢?楚云洛,21世纪叱咤风云的人物,年仅18岁便有了无数件丰功伟绩,道上人称“血蝶”,却不想被队友陷害,一朝穿越成赤金国镇国大将军第三子,声名狼藉的草包三少。
  • 俏媚舞精灵小心Devilの吻

    俏媚舞精灵小心Devilの吻

    女主人公的爸爸由于买六合彩中了几百万的大奖,所以将女主人公朱瑟菲送进了一所私立的贵族高中“圣天泽”就读,天真可爱而且善良的朱瑟菲本是一个没有任何烦恼的小女孩,没想到在进入这所学校之后,她的人生开始了惊天动地的起伏。