登陆注册
15317200000178

第178章

He sat suspended in a fine recoil of disappointment, that seemed gradually to be destroying his understanding.But the unconscious state of patience persisted in him.He remained motionless, without thought or knowledge, for a long time.Then he rose, and went downstairs, to play at chess with one of the students.His face was open and clear, with a certain innocent laisser-aller that troubled Gudrun most, made her almost afraid of him, whilst she disliked him deeply for it.

It was after this that Loerke, who had never yet spoken to her personally, began to ask her of her state.

`You are not married at all, are you?' he asked.

She looked full at him.

`Not in the least,' she replied, in her measured way.Loerke laughed, wrinkling up his face oddly.There was a thin wisp of his hair straying on his forehead, she noticed that his skin was of a clear brown colour, his hands, his wrists.And his hands seemed closely prehensile.He seemed like topaz, so strangely brownish and pellucid.

`Good,' he said.

Still it needed some courage for him to go on.

`Was Mrs Birkin your sister?' he asked.

`Yes.'

`And was she married?'

`She was married.'

`Have you parents, then?'

`Yes,' said Gudrun, `we have parents.'

And she told him, briefly, laconically, her position.He watched her closely, curiously all the while.

`So!' he exclaimed, with some surprise.`And the Herr Crich, is he rich?'

`Yes, he is rich, a coal owner.'

`How long has your friendship with him lasted?'

`Some months.'

There was a pause.

`Yes, I am surprised,' he said at length.`The English, I thought they were so -- cold.And what do you think to do when you leave here?'

`What do I think to do?' she repeated.

`Yes.You cannot go back to the teaching.No --' he shrugged his shoulders -- `that is impossible.Leave that to the canaille who can do nothing else.You, for your part -- you know, you are a remarkable woman, eine seltsame Frau.Why deny it -- why make any question of it? You are an extraordinary woman, why should you follow the ordinary course, the ordinary life?'

Gudrun sat looking at her hands, flushed.She was pleased that he said, so simply, that she was a remarkable woman.He would not say that to flatter her -- he was far too self-opinionated and objective by nature.He said it as he would say a piece of sculpture was remarkable, because he knew it was so.

And it gratified her to hear it from him.Other people had such a passion to make everything of one degree, of one pattern.In England it was chic to be perfectly ordinary.And it was a relief to her to be acknowledged extraordinary.Then she need not fret about the common standards.

`You see,' she said, `I have no money whatsoever.'

`Ach, money!' he cried, lifting his shoulders.`When one is grown up, money is lying about at one's service.It is only when one is young that it is rare.Take no thought for money -- that always lies to hand.'

`Does it?' she said, laughing.

`Always.The Gerald will give you a sum, if you ask him for it --'

She flushed deeply.

`I will ask anybody else,' she said, with some difficulty -- `but not him.'

Loerke looked closely at her.

`Good,' he said.`Then let it be somebody else.Only don't go back to that England, that school.No, that is stupid.'

Again there was a pause.He was afraid to ask her outright to go with him, he was not even quite sure he wanted her; and she was afraid to be asked.He begrudged his own isolation, was very chary of sharing his life, even for a day.

`The only other place I know is Paris,' she said, `and I can't stand that.'

She looked with her wide, steady eyes full at Loerke.He lowered his head and averted his face.

`Paris, no!' he said.`Between the religion d'amour, and the latest 'ism, and the new turning to Jesus, one had better ride on a carrousel all day.But come to Dresden.I have a studio there -- I can give you work, -- oh, that would be easy enough.I haven't seen any of your things, but I believe in you.Come to Dresden -- that is a fine town to be in, and as good a life as you can expect of a town.You have everything there, without the foolishness of Paris or the beer of Munich.'

He sat and looked at her, coldly.What she liked about him was that he spoke to her simple and flat, as to himself.He was a fellow craftsman, a fellow being to her, first.

`No -- Paris,' he resumed, `it makes me sick.Pah -- l'amour.I detest it.L'amour, l'amore, die Liebe -- I detest it in every language.Women and love, there is no greater tedium,' he cried.

She was slightly offended.And yet, this was her own basic feeling.

Men, and love -- there was no greater tedium.

`I think the same,' she said.

`A bore,' he repeated.`What does it matter whether I wear this hat or another.So love.I needn't wear a hat at all, only for convenience.

Neither need I love except for convenience.I tell you what, gnadige Frau --' and he leaned towards her -- then he made a quick, odd gesture, as of striking something aside -- `gnadige Fraulein, never mind -- I tell you what, I would give everything, everything, all your love, for a little companionship in intelligence --' his eyes flickered darkly, evilly at her.`You understand?' he asked, with a faint smile.`It wouldn't matter if she were a hundred years old, a thousand -- it would be all the same to me, so that she can understand.' He shut his eyes with a little snap.

Again Gudrun was rather offended.Did he not think her good looking, then? Suddenly she laughed.

`I shall have to wait about eighty years to suit you, at that!' she said.`I am ugly enough, aren't I?'

He looked at her with an artist's sudden, critical, estimating eye.

`You are beautiful,' he said, `and I am glad of it.But it isn't that -- it isn't that,' he cried, with emphasis that flattered her.`It is that you have a certain wit, it is the kind of understanding.For me, I am little, chetif, insignificant.Good! Do not ask me to be strong and handsome, then.

But it is the me --' he put his fingers to his mouth, oddly -- `it is the me that is looking for a mistress, and my me is waiting for the thee of the mistress, for the match to my particular intelligence.

同类推荐
  • 台湾资料清德宗实录选辑

    台湾资料清德宗实录选辑

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 战城南

    战城南

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 风劳臌膈四大证治

    风劳臌膈四大证治

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 在家律要广集

    在家律要广集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 翁母些

    翁母些

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 为爱杀生

    为爱杀生

    他是万魔之首,未来的万神之祖。她是神级医师,拥有天使皇族的血脉。他爱她,不需要语言。她爱他,没有承诺。她死了,他为她杀生。最后,他把自己还给了天地。为了她,也为了世界。
  • 断绝天下

    断绝天下

    穿越到一万年前,他只想回到有她的那个年代,而要做到这一点,最重要的就是千万不能让历史偏移原来的轨迹,当然要能活那么久才行。
  • 山西老宅院

    山西老宅院

    本书详细介绍了明清时期山西老宅院的崛起、发展历程,反映了当时宅院主人的人生观、价值观、审美取向及风俗民情和时代特征。山西老宅院凝聚着人类的智慧和情感。本书让我们对大院文化有了更深入、完整的了解。
  • 末日改造计划

    末日改造计划

    我不是为了毁灭地球而是为了改造地球。我要在这末日里建立属于自己的军团。我要横行在这末日,创造自己的辉煌。
  • 娇妻难养,总裁大人太霸道

    娇妻难养,总裁大人太霸道

    被炒当晚喝醉,把总裁的劳斯莱斯看成出租车。“你长得怎么这么像那个gay总裁,呵呵。”“那我就让你看看我是不是gay。”他吻了她从此她被他缠住了。他使出千方百计只为让她留在这工作?是的。他耍了千百次帅只为她爱上他?是的。
  • 心有执念

    心有执念

    在那个艰苦的年代里,这是一个励志的爱情的故事——男人辛苦劳动,脚踏实地的挣票票烧钱娶了一个自己执念八年的小媳妇。
  • 从哈佛学院到耶鲁礼堂

    从哈佛学院到耶鲁礼堂

    世界著名学府哈佛大学及美国总统的摇篮耶鲁大学中学子聆听的人生哲理,现在,你也可以与他们共享。
  • 重生之黑科技手机

    重生之黑科技手机

    “如果人有来生,那么我一定不会想这样憋屈的活,我要这个世界都知道我张小羽"
  • 冷血凉颜

    冷血凉颜

    边伯贤:曦,你永远是我的公主殿下,只要你的目光还注视着我,我的眼里就永远走不进别人;鹿晗:曦儿,人人都有自私的一面,而我只对你自私,永远都是最自私;吴世勋:曦宝,如果我从来不曾遇见你,还有什么值得我去珍惜?我是一个最不怕失败的人,可你却是我输不起的玩笑;朴灿烈:youdonothavemuchgoodlike(你不用多好,我喜欢就好)小曦,可你偏偏要这么好,好到不再只是我喜欢,只是我爱……金钟仁:小丫头,开始我还嘲笑我那几个兄弟为何爱你爱的那么深,怎料,最后连我自己竟也无法自拔;吴亦凡:灯火光影,街道通明,谁被谁吸引?小曦,你确实拥有致命的吸引力,牢牢掌控着我
  • 福妻驾到

    福妻驾到

    现代饭店彪悍老板娘魂穿古代。不分是非的极品婆婆?三年未归生死不明的丈夫?心狠手辣的阴毒亲戚?贪婪而好色的地主老财?吃上顿没下顿的贫困宭境?不怕不怕,神仙相助,一技在手,天下我有!且看现代张悦娘,如何身带福气玩转古代,开面馆、收小弟、左纳财富,右傍美男,共绘幸福生活大好蓝图!!!!快本新书《天媒地聘》已经上架开始销售,只要3.99元即可将整本书抱回家,你还等什么哪,赶紧点击下面的直通车,享受乐乐精心为您准备的美食盛宴吧!)