登陆注册
15316400000040

第40章 THE RECKONING August, 1902(4)

If the reasoning by which her friends justified her course was somewhat cruder and less complex than her own elucidation of the matter, both explanations led to the same conclusion: John Arment was impossible.The only difference was that, to his wife, his impossibility was something deeper than a social disqualification.She had once said, in ironical defence of her marriage, that it had at least preserved her from the necessity of sitting next to him at dinner; but she had not then realized at what cost the immunity was purchased.John Arment was impossible; but the sting of his impossibility lay in the fact that he made it impossible for those about him to be other than himself.By an unconscious process of elimination he had excluded from the world everything of which he did not feel a personal need: had become, as it were, a climate in which only his own requirements survived.This might seem to imply a deliberate selfishness; but there was nothing deliberate about Arment.He was as instinctive as an animal or a child.It was this childish element in his nature which sometimes for a moment unsettled his wife's estimate of him.Was it possible that he was simply undeveloped, that he had delayed, somewhat longer than is usual, the laborious process of growing up? He had the kind of sporadic shrewdness which causes it to be said of a dull man that he is "no fool"; and it was this quality that his wife found most trying.Even to the naturalist it is annoying to have his deductionsdisturbed by some unforeseen aberrancy of form or function; and how much more so to the wife whose estimate of herself is inevitably bound up with her judgment of her husband!

Arment's shrewdness did not, indeed, imply any latent intellectual power; it suggested, rather, potentialities of feeling, of suffering, perhaps, in a blind rudimentary way, on which Julia's sensibilities naturally declined to linger.She so fully understood her own reasons for leaving him that she disliked to think they were not as comprehensible to her husband.She was haunted, in her analytic moments, by the look of perplexity, too inarticulate for words, with which he had acquiesced to her explanations.

These moments were rare with her, however.Her marriage had been too concrete a misery to be surveyed philosophically.If she had been unhappy for complex reasons, the unhappiness was as real as though it had been uncomplicated.Soul is more bruisable than flesh, and Julia was wounded in every fibre of her spirit.Her husband's personality seemed to be closing gradually in on her, obscuring the sky and cutting off the air, till she felt herself shut up among the decaying bodies of her starved hopes.A sense of having been decoyed by some world-old conspiracy into this bondage of body and soul filled her with despair.If marriage was the slow life-long acquittal of a debt contracted in ignorance, then marriage was a crime against human nature.She, for one, would have no share in maintaining the pretence of which she had been a victim: the pretence that a man and a woman, forced into the narrowest of personal relations, must remain there till the end, though they may have outgrown the span of each other's natures as the mature tree outgrows the iron brace about the sapling.

It was in the first heat of her moral indignation that she had met Clement Westall.She had seen at once that he was "interested," and had fought off the discovery, dreading any influence that should draw her back into the bondage of conventional relations.To ward off the peril she had, with an almost crude precipitancy, revealed her opinions to him.To her surprise, she found that he shared them.She was attracted by the frankness of a suitor who, while pressing his suit, admitted that he did not believe inmarriage.Her worst audacities did not seem to surprise him: he had thought out all that she had felt, and they had reached the same conclusion.People grew at varying rates, and the yoke that was an easy fit for the one might soon become galling to the other.That was what divorce was for: the readjustment of personal relations.As soon as their necessarily transitive nature was recognized they would gain in dignity as well as in harmony.There would be no farther need of the ignoble concessions and connivances, the perpetual sacrifice of personal delicacy and moral pride, by means of which imperfect marriages were now held together.Each partner to the contract would be on his mettle, forced to live up to the highest standard of self-development, on pain of losing the other's respect and affection.The low nature could no longer drag the higher down, but must struggle to rise, or remain alone on its inferior level.The only necessary condition to a harmonious marriage was a frank recognition of this truth, and a solemn agreement between the contracting parties to keep faith with themselves, and not to live together for a moment after complete accord had ceased to exist between them.The new adultery was unfaithfulness to self.

It was, as Westall had just reminded her, on this understanding that they had married.The ceremony was an unimportant concession to social prejudice: now that the door of divorce stood open, no marriage need be an imprisonment, and the contract therefore no longer involved any diminution of self-respect.The nature of their attachment placed them so far beyond the reach of such contingencies that it was easy to discuss them with an open mind; and Julia's sense of security made her dwell with a tender insistence on Westall's promise to claim his release when he should cease to love her.The exchange of these vows seemed to make them, in a sense, champions of the new law, pioneers in the forbidden realm of individual freedom: they felt that they had somehow achieved beatitude without martyrdom.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 王子们的公主
  • 带着空间穿越之逆袭

    带着空间穿越之逆袭

    作为世界第一杀手的冰无情,智慧无双,医术她敢称第二没人敢称第一,一不小心发现了镯子的空间,告诉亲人和朋友们,可正在执行任务时一不小心穿越了,没关系,穿越成废柴,没关系,看她如何逆袭,几天进一级,神丹,她当糖吃,神兽,她空间里一大堆,势力,她的势力遍布各个大陆,,看她在这个世界如何混的风声水起。虽然她很厉害,是全能女王,可却把心给了他,这个妖孽男人……
  • 带着娇妻逆仙界

    带着娇妻逆仙界

    天不依我,我必逆天;佛不渡我,我自成魔。----------【新人新书,求收藏,拜谢】
  • 校园的青春爱恋

    校园的青春爱恋

    四对校园cp的恋爱故事,有笑有泪,有欢有喜的爱情故事。敬请期待《校园的青春爱恋》吧!!!
  • 萌宠神变喵

    萌宠神变喵

    “喵喵喵喵!大家好,我是林翼,一枚集帅气可爱于一体的蓝星小猫咪,也是这一部书的主角~~~”“靠!小爷我才是你的主人,这部书的主角,你竟敢抢我的风头,先不和你计较。”“先清清嗓子,各位读者好,我是林星叶,这只笨猫的主人,兼这部书的男主角,希望~~”“啊——”“死猫,敢咬我,看我怎么收拾你。”(场面太血腥)SO······
  • 明日晨风

    明日晨风

    曾经被誉为灵动单挑之王的“晨风”,在一次线上比赛结束后销声匿迹。两年后,他的操作者夏铖带上新号归来……“那个舞台上必将会有我的身影!”
  • 绝品兵皇

    绝品兵皇

    落魄失忆,沦为底层求生者!神秘传承,惹数派纷争,一人披荆斩棘!极品偶遇,引无数红粉佳人前仆后继,花团锦簇!
  • 一度繁华,一句过客

    一度繁华,一句过客

    流年之间,许诺中真假难辨,又怎敢许下你地老天荒,不如就此相忘于尘世间。花期渐远,断了流年
  • 小猪猪知道的那些事

    小猪猪知道的那些事

    小猪猪想告诉大家一些事,说大也大,说小也小。大家想知道吗?
  • 衍衍生息石上泉

    衍衍生息石上泉

    君衍是昆仑虚的第一女上神,更有着四海八荒都难见的绝世容颜,人皆道她冷酷无情