Another part of the Park
Enter FALSTAFF disguised as HERNE
FALSTAFF.The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute draws on.Now the hot-blooded gods assist me! Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love set on thy horns.O powerful love! that in some respects makes a beast a man; in some other a man a beast.You were also, Jupiter, a swan, for the love of Leda.O omnipotent love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a goose! A fault done first in the form of a beast-O Jove, a beastly fault!-and then another fault in the semblance of a fowl- think on't, Jove, a foul fault! When gods have hot backs what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' th' forest.Send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my doe?
Enter MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE
MRS.FORD.Sir John! Art thou there, my deer, my male deer.FALSTAFF.My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Greensleeves, hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here.[Embracing her] MRS.FORD.Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.FALSTAFF.Divide me like a brib'd buck, each a haunch; I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your husbands.Am I a woodman, ha? Speak I like Herne the Hunter? Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution.As I am a true spirit, welcome! [A noise of horns] MRS.PAGE.Alas, what noise? MRS.FORD.Heaven forgive our sins! FALSTAFF.What should this be? MRS.FORD.} Away, away.MRS.PAGE.} Away, away.[They run off] FALSTAFF.I think the devil will not have me damn'd, lest the oil that's in me should set hell on fire; he would never elsecross me thus.
Enter SIR HUGH EVANS like a satyr, ANNE PAGE as a fairy, and OTHERS as the Fairy Queen, fairies, and Hobgoblin; all with tapersFAIRYQUEEN.Fairies,black,grey,green,andwhite,Youmoonshine revellers, and shades of night, You orphan heirs of fixed destiny, Attend your office and your quality.Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy oyes.PUCK.Elves, list your names; silence, you airy toys.Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap; Where fires thou find'st unrak'd, and hearths unswept, There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry; Our radiant Queen hates sluts and sluttery.FALSTAFF.They are fairies; he that speaks to them shall die.I'll wink and couch; no man their works must eye.[Lies down upon his face] EVANS.Where's Pede? Go you, and where you find a maid That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said, Raise up the organs of her fantasy Sleep she as sound as careless infancy; But those as sleep and think not on their sins, Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and shins.FAIRY QUEEN.About, about; Search Windsor castle, elves, within and out; Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room, That it may stand till the perpetual doom In state as wholesome as in state 'tis fit, Worthy the owner and the owner it.The several chairs of order look you scour With juice of balm and every precious flower; Each fair instalment, coat, and sev'ral crest, With loyal blazon, evermore be blest! And nightly, meadow-fairies, look you sing, Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring; Th' expressure that it bears, green let it be, More fertile-fresh than all the field to see; And 'Honi soit qui mal y pense' write In em'rald tufts, flow'rs purple, blue and white; Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery, Buckled below fair knighthood's bending knee.Fairies use flow'rs for their charactery.Away, disperse; but till 'tis one o'clock, Our dance of custom round about the oak Of Herne the Hunter let us not forget.EVANS.Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves in order set; And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be, To guide our measure round about the tree.But, stay.I smell a man of middle earth.FALSTAFF.Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy, lest he transform me to a piece of cheese! PUCK.Vile worm, thou wast o'erlook'd even in thy birth.FAIRY QUEEN.With trial-fire touch me his finger-end; If he be chaste, the flame will back descend, And turn him to no pain; but if he start, It is the flesh of a corrupted heart.PUCK.A trial, come.EVANS.Come, will this wood take fire? [They put the tapers to his fingers, and he starts] FALSTAFF.Oh, oh, oh! FAIRY QUEEN.Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire! About him, fairies; sing ascornful rhyme; And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time.THE SONG.Fie on sinful fantasy! Fie on lust and luxury! Lust is but a bloody fire, Kindled with unchaste desire, Fed in heart, whose flames aspire, As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher.Pinch him, fairies, mutually; Pinch him for his villainy; Pinch him and burn him and turn him about, Till candles and star-light and moonshine be out.