Hardest of all, she had to break the matter to Georgy, who made a loud outcry.Everybody had new clothes at Christmas.The others would laugh at him.He would have new clothes.She had promised them to him.The poor widow had only kisses to give him.She darned the old suit in tears.She cast about among her little ornaments to see if she could sell anything to procure the desired novelties.There was her India shawl that Dobbin had sent her.She remembered in former days going with her mother to a fine India shop on Ludgate Hill, where the ladies had all sorts of dealings and bargains in these articles.Her cheeks flushed and her eyes shone with pleasure as she thought of this resource, and she kissed away George to school in the morning, smiling brightly after him.The boy felt that there was good news in her look.
Packing up her shawl in a handkerchief (another of the gifts of the good Major), she hid them under her cloak and walked flushed and eager all the way to Ludgate Hill, tripping along by the park wall and running over the crossings, so that many a man turned as she hurried by him and looked after her rosy pretty face.She calculated how she should spend the proceeds of her shawl--how, besides the clothes, she would buy the books that he longed for, and pay his half-year's schooling; and how she would buy a cloak for her father instead of that old great-coat which he wore.She was not mistaken as to the value of the Major's gift.It was a very fine and beautiful web, and the merchant made a very good bargain when he gave her twenty guineas for her shawl.
She ran on amazed and flurried with her riches to Darton's shop, in St.Paul's Churchyard, and there purchased the Parents' Assistant and the Sandford and Merton Georgy longed for, and got into the coach there with her parcel, and went home exulting.And she pleased herself by writing in the fly-leaf in her neatest little hand, "George Osborne, A Christmas gift from his affectionate-mother." The books are extant to this day, with the fair delicate superscription.
She was going from her own room with the books in her hand to place them on George's table, where he might find them on his return from school, when in the passage, she and her mother met.The gilt bindings of the seven handsome little volumes caught the old lady's eye.
"What are those?" she said.
"Some books for Georgy," Amelia replied--I--Ipromised them to him at Christmas."
"Books!" cried the elder lady indignantly, "Books, when the whole house wants bread! Books, when to keep you and your son in luxury, and your dear father out of gaol, I've sold every trinket I had, the India shawl from my back even down to the very spoons, that our tradesmen mightn't insult us, and that Mr.Clapp, which indeed he is justly entitled, being not a hard landlord, and a civil man, and a father, might have his rent.Oh, Amelia!
you break my heart with your books and that boy of yours, whom you are ruining, though part with him you will not.Oh, Amelia, may God send you a more dutiful child than I have had! There's Jos, deserts his father in his old age; and there's George, who might be provided for, and who might be rich, going to school like a lord, with a gold watch and chain round his neck--while my dear, dear old man is without a sh--shilling." Hysteric sobs and cries ended Mrs.Sedley's speech--it echoed through every room in the small house, whereof the other female inmates heard every word of the colloquy.
"Oh, Mother, Mother!" cried poor Amelia in reply.
"You told me nothing--I--I promised him the books.
I--I only sold my shawl this morning.Take the money --take everything"--and with quivering hands she took out her silver, and her sovereigns--her precious golden sovereigns, which she thrust into the hands of her mother, whence they overflowed and tumbled, rolling down the stairs.
And then she went into her room, and sank down in despair and utter misery.She saw it all now.Her selfishness was sacrificing the boy.But for her he might have wealth, station, education, and his father's place, which the elder George had forfeited for her sake.She had but to speak the words, and her father was restored to competency and the boy raised to fortune.Oh, what a conviction it was to that tender and stricken heart!
