Gradual Initiation to the Mysteries of SlaveryGROWING ACQUAINTANCE WITH OLD MASTER--HIS CHARACTER--EVILS OFUNRESTRAINED PASSION--APPARENT TENDERNESS--OLD MASTER A MAN OFTROUBLE--CUSTOM OF MUTTERING TO HIMSELF--NECESSITY OF BEING AWAREOF HIS WORDS--THE SUPPOSED OBTUSENESS OF SLAVE-CHILDREN--BRUTALOUTRAGE--DRUNKEN OVERSEER--SLAVEHOLDER'S IMPATIENCE--WISDOM OFAPPEALING TO SUPERIORS--THE SLAVEHOLDER S WRATH BAD AS THAT OFTHE OVERSEER--A BASE AND SELFISH ATTEMPT TO BREAK UP ACOURTSHIP--A HARROWING SCENE.
Although my old master--Capt. Anthony--gave me at first, (as the reader will have already seen) very little attention, and although that little was of a remarkably mild and gentle description, a few months only were sufficient to convince me that mildness and gentleness were not the prevailing or governing traits of his character. These excellent qualities were displayed only occasionally. He could, when it suited him, appear to be literally insensible to the claims of humanity, when appealed to by the helpless against an aggressor, and he could himself commit outrages, deep, dark and nameless. Yet he was not by nature worse than other men. Had he been brought up in a free state, surrounded by the just restraints of free society--restraints which are necessary to the freedom of all its members, alike and equally--Capt. Anthony might have been as humane a man, and every way as respectable, as many who now oppose the slave system; certainly as humane and respectable as are members of society generally. The slaveholder, as well as the slave, is the victim of the slave <62>system. A man's character greatly takes its hue and shape from the form and color of things about him.
Under the whole heavens there is no relation more unfavorable to the development of honorable character, than that sustained by the slaveholder to the slave. Reason is imprisoned here, and passions run wild. Like the fires of the prairie, once lighted, they are at the mercy of every wind, and must burn, till they have consumed all that is combustible within their remorseless grasp. Capt. Anthony could be kind, and, at times, he even showed an affectionate disposition. Could the reader have seen him gently leading me by the hand--as he sometimes did--patting me on the head, speaking to me in soft, caressing tones and calling me his "little Indian boy," he would have deemed him a kind old man, and really, almost fatherly. But the pleasant moods of a slaveholder are remarkably brittle; they are easily snapped; they neither come often, nor remain long. His temper is subjected to perpetual trials; but, since these trials are never borne patiently, they add nothing to his natural stock of patience.
Old master very early impressed me with the idea that he was an unhappy man. Even to my child's eye, he wore a troubled, and at times, a haggard aspect. His strange movements excited my curiosity, and awakened my compassion. He seldom walked alone without muttering to himself; and he occasionally stormed about, as if defying an army of invisible foes. "He would do this, that, and the other; he'd be d--d if he did not,"--was the usual form of his threats. Most of his leisure was spent in walking, cursing and gesticulating, like one possessed by a demon. Most evidently, he was a wretched man, at war with his own soul, and with all the world around him. To be overheard by the children, disturbed him very little. He made no more of our presence, than of that of the ducks and geese which he met on the green. He little thought that the little black urchins around him, could see, through those vocal crevices, the very secrets of his heart.
Slaveholders ever underrate the intelligence with which <63SUPPOSED OBTUSENESS OF SLAVE-CHILDREN>they have to grapple. Ireally understood the old man's mutterings, attitudes and gestures, about as well as he did himself. But slaveholders never encourage that kind of communication, with the slaves, by which they might learn to measure the depths of his knowledge.
Ignorance is a high virtue in a human chattel; and as the master studies to keep the slave ignorant, the slave is cunning enough to make the master think he succeeds. The slave fully appreciates the saying, "where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise." When old master's gestures were violent, ending with a threatening shake of the head, and a sharp snap of his middle finger and thumb, I deemed it wise to keep at a respectable distance from him; for, at such times, trifling faults stood, in his eyes, as momentous offenses; and, having both the power and the disposition, the victim had only to be near him to catch the punishment, deserved or undeserved.
