"I'd 'a' given something good if you'd been at the next table. Iguess he got kind of jagged on the food, see? He'd tell me anything that run in his mind, and most of it was good. You'll say so. I'll get him to do it for you sometime. Of all the funny nuts that make this lot! Well, take my word for it; that's all I ask. And listen here, Jeff--I'm down to cases. There's something about this kid, like when I tell you I'd always look at him twice. And it's something rich that I won't let out for a minute or two. But here's what you and me do, right quick:
"The kid was in that cabaret and gambling-house stuff they shot last week for The Blight of Broadway, and this something that makes you look at him must of struck Henshaw the way it did me, for he let him stay right at the edge of the dance floor and took a lot of close-ups of him looking tired to death of the gay night life. Well, you call up the Victor folks and ask can you get a look at that stuff because you're thinking of giving a part to one of the extras that worked in it. Maybe we can get into the projection room right away and you'll see what I mean. Then I won't have to tell you the richest thing about it. Now!"--she took a long breath--"will you?"Baird had listened with mild interest to the recital, occasionally seeming not to listen while he altered the script before him. But he took the telephone receiver from its hook and said briefly to the girl: "You win. Hello! Give me the Victor office. Hello! Mr. Baird speaking--"The two were presently in the dark projection room watching the scenes the girl had told of.
"They haven't started cutting yet," she said delightedly. "All his close-ups will be in. Goody! There's the lad-get him? Ain't he the actin'est thing you ever saw? Now wait-you'll see others."Baird watched the film absorbedly. Three times it was run for the sole purpose of exposing to this small audience Merton Gill's notion of being consumed with ennui among pleasures that had palled. In the gambling-hall bit it could be observed that he thought not too well of cigarettes. "He screens well, too," remarked the girl. "Of course I couldn't be sure of that.""He screens all right," agreed Baird.
"Well, what do you think?"
"I think he looks like the first plume on a hearse.""He looks all of that, but try again. Who does he remind you of?
Catch this next one in the gambling hell--get the profile and the eyebrows and the chin--there!""Why--" Baird chuckled. "I'm a Swede if he don't look like--""You got it!" the girl broke in excitedly. "I knew you would. Ididn't at first, this morning, because he was so hungry and needed a shave, and he darned near had me bawling when he couldn't hold his cup o' coffee except with two hands. But what d'you think?--pretty soon he tells me himself that he looks a great deal like Harold Parmalee and wouldn't mind playing parts like Parmalee, though he prefers Western stuff. Wouldn't that get you?"The film was run again so that Baird could study the Gill face in the light of this new knowledge.
"He does, he does, he certainly does--if he don't look like a No. 9company of Parmalee I'll eat that film. Say, Flips, you did find something.""Oh, I knew it; didn't I tell you so?"
"But, listen--does he know he's funny?"
"Not in a thousand years! He doesn't know anything's funny, near as I can make him."They were out in the light again, walking slowly back to the Buckeye offices.
"Get this," said Baird seriously. "You may think I'm kidding, but only yesterday I was trying to think if I couldn't dig up some guy that looked more like Parmalee than Parmalee himself does--just enough more to get the laugh, see? And you spring this lad on me.
All he needs is the eyebrows worked up a little bit. But how about him--will he handle? Because if he will I'll use him in the new five-reeler.""Will he handle?" Miss Montague echoed the words with deep emphasis.
"Leave him to me. He's got to handle. I already got twenty-five bucks invested in his screen career. And, Jeff, he'll be easy to work, except he don't know he's funny. If he found out he was, it might queer him--see what I mean? He's one of that kind--you can tell it. How will you use him? He could never do Buckeye stuff.""Sure not. But ain't I told you? In this new piece Jack is stage struck and gets a job as valet to a ham that's just about Parmalee's type, and we show Parmalee acting in the screen, but all straight stuff, you understand. Unless he's a wise guy he'll go all through the piece and never get on that it's funny. See, his part's dead straight and serious in a regular drama, and the less he thinks he's funny the bigger scream he'll be. He's got to be Harold Parmalee acting right out, all over the set, as serious as the lumbago--get what I mean?""I got you," said the girl, "and you'll get him to-morrow morning. Itold him to be over with his stills. And he'll be serious all the time, make no mistake there. He's no wise guy. And one thing, Jeff, he's as innocent as a cup--custard, so you'll have to keep that bunch of Buckeye roughnecks from riding him. I can tell you that much. Once they started kidding him, it would be all off.""And, besides--" She hesitated briefly. "Somehow I don't want him kidded. I'm pretty hard-boiled, but he sort of made me feel like a fifty-year-old mother watching her only boy go out into the rough world. See?""I'll watch out for that," said Baird.
