"I tell you what, brother, if you ever sinivate again that Icould be the third thing, so help me duvel! I'll do you a mischief.By my God I will!""Well, Ursula, I assure you that I shall sinivate, as you call it, nothing of the kind about you.I have no doubt, from what you have said, that you are a very paragon of virtue - a perfect Lucretia; but - ""My name is Ursula, brother, and not Lucretia: Lucretia is not of our family, but one of the Bucklands; she travels about Oxfordshire; yet I am as good as she any day.""Lucretia; how odd! Where could she have got that name?
Well, I make no doubt, Ursula, that you are quite as good as she, and she as her namesake of ancient Rome; but there is a mystery in this same virtue, Ursula, which I cannot fathom;how a thief and a liar should be able, or indeed willing, to preserve her virtue is what I don't understand.You confess that you are very fond of gold.Now, how is it that you don't barter your virtue for gold sometimes? I am a philosopher, Ursula, and like to know everything.You must be every now and then exposed to great temptation, Ursula;for you are of a beauty calculated to captivate all hearts.
Come, sit down and tell me how you are enabled to resist such a temptation as gold and fine clothes?""Well, brother," said Ursula, "as you say you mean no harm, Iwill sit down beside you, and enter into discourse with you;but I will uphold that you are the coolest hand that I ever came nigh, and say the coolest things."And thereupon Ursula sat down by my side.
"Well, Ursula, we will, if you please, discourse on the subject of your temptations.I suppose that you travel very much about, and show yourself in all kinds of places?""In all kinds, brother; I travels, as you say, very much about, attends fairs and races, and enters booths and public-houses, where I tells fortunes, and sometimes dances and sings.""And do not people often address you in a very free manner?""Frequently, brother; and I give them tolerably free answers.""Do people ever offer to make you presents? I mean presents of value, such as - ""Silk handkerchiefs, shawls, and trinkets; very frequently, brother.""And what do you do, Ursula?"
"I takes what people offers me, brother, and stows it away as soon as I can.""Well, but don't people expect something for their presents?
I don't mean dukkerin, dancing, and the like; but such a moderate and innocent thing as a choomer, Ursula?""Innocent thing, do you call it, brother?""The world calls it so, Ursula.Well, do the people who give you the fine things never expect a choomer in return?""Very frequently, brother."
"And do you ever grant it?"
"Never, brother."
"How do you avoid it?"
"I gets away as soon as possible, brother.If they follows me, I tries to baffle them, by means of jests and laughter;and if they persist, I uses bad and terrible language, of which I have plenty in store.""But if your terrible language has no effect?""Then I screams for the constable, and if he comes not, Iuses my teeth and nails."
"And are they always sufficient?"
"I have only had to use them twice, brother; but then I found them sufficient.""But suppose the person who followed you was highly agreeable, Ursula? A handsome young officer of local militia, for example, all dressed in Lincoln green, would you still refuse him the choomer?""We makes no difference, brother; the daughters of the gypsy-father makes no difference; and what's more, sees none.""Well, Ursula, the world will hardly give you credit for such indifference.""What cares we for the world, brother! we are not of the world.""But your fathers, brothers, and uncles, give you credit, Isuppose, Ursula."
"Ay, ay, brother, our fathers, brothers, and cokos gives us all manner of credit; for example, I am telling lies and dukkerin in a public-house where my batu or coko - perhaps both - are playing on the fiddle; well, my batu and my coko beholds me amongst the public-house crew, talking nonsense and hearing nonsense; but they are under no apprehension; and presently they sees the good-looking officer of militia, in his greens and Lincolns, get up and give me a wink, and I go out with him abroad, into the dark night perhaps; well, my batu and my coko goes on fiddling just as if I were six miles off asleep in the tent, and not out in the dark street with the local officer, with his Lincolns and his greens.""They know they can trust you, Ursula?"
"Ay, ay, brother; and, what's more, I knows I can trust myself.""So you would merely go out to make a fool of him, Ursula?""Merely go out to make a fool of him, brother, I assure you.""But such proceedings really have an odd look, Ursula.""Amongst gorgios, very so, brother."
"Well, it must be rather unpleasant to lose one's character even amongst gorgios, Ursula; and suppose the officer, out of revenge for being tricked and duped by you, were to say of you the thing that is not, were to meet you on the race-course the next day, and boast of receiving favours which he never had, amidst a knot of jeering militia-men, how would you proceed, Ursula? would you not be abashed?""By no means, brother; I should bring my action of law against him.""Your action at law, Ursula?"
"Yes, brother, I should give a whistle, whereupon all one's cokos and batus, and all my near and distant relations, would leave their fiddling, dukkerin, and horse-dealing, and come flocking about me.'What's the matter, Ursula?' says my coko.'Nothing at all,' I replies, 'save and except that gorgio, in his greens and his Lincolns, says that I have played the - with him.' 'Oho, he does, Ursula,' says my coko, 'try your action of law against him, my lamb,' and he puts something privily into my hands; whereupon I goes close up to the grinning gorgio, and staring him in the face, with my head pushed forward, I cries out: 'You say I did what was wrong with you last night when I was out with you abroad?'
