That you might have been with me on board my ships.That,when Icome down the companion on stormy nights I might have found you there to comfort me and--O Keziah!we aren't young any more.
What's the use of foolin'?I want you.I'm goin'to have you.
Coffin is dead these ten years.When I heard he was drowned off there in Singapore,all I could say was:'Serve him right!'And Isay it now.I come home then more determined to get you.Say yes,and let's be happy.Do!I can't,Nat.
Why not?For Heaven sakes!why not?Don't you care for me?
You've let me think--well,at any rate,I have thought you did.
You used to.Don't you?
Nat,I--I care for you more than anybody else on earth.But Ican't marry you.Oh,don't keep askin'it!Please don't.I can't marry you,Nat.No!Well,not now,maybe.Not this month,or even this year,perhaps,but some day--No,Nat.You must listen.There's no use of this goin'on any longer.I mean it.I can't marry you.You won't,you mean.
Well,if you wish to think so.Then I won't.But by and by--
No,not by and by.Never,Nat.Never.
He drew his hand across his forehead.
Never!he repeated,more to himself than to her.
Never.Yes,Nat.
Then,by the everlastin'!I'll do somethin'--No,no,you won't.Nat Hammond,I know you.You're a great big,brave-hearted,sensible man.You won't be foolish.You'll do--yes,I think you'd better do just what your father asks you to do.
Marry Grace,if she wants you and will have you.She'll make you a good wife;you'll learn to care for her,and I know she'll have the best husband that a girl could hope for.And you and I will be friends,just as we've always been,and--Keziah,stop that!Stop it,do you hear!I don't want to listen to such stuff.I tell you I'm past soft soap,and I didn't think you'd give it to me.Nat!
Oh,yes,'Nat'!A lot you care for 'Nat'!Not a reason on God's footstool why you won't have me--except one,and that one that you don't want me.Please,Nat!I can hardly believe this is you.This trouble with your father has upset you.You don't mean what you say.You're not talkin'like yourself and--Stop it,I tell you.I don't feel like myself.I banked on you,Keziah.I've lived for you.And now--O Keziah,take it back!
Give me a little hope,just enough to keep my head above water.I'd like to,Nat.I only wish I could.But 'twouldn't be any use.I can't do it.He snatched his hat from the table and strode to the door.
Turning,he looked at her.
All right,he said chokingly.All right.Good-by.His steps sounded on the oilcloth of the kitchen.Then the back door slammed.He was gone.
Keziah started,as if the slam of the door had been an electric shock.During the interview she had been pale and grave but outwardly calm.Now she sank wearily down in the chair from which she had risen and her head dropped forward upon her arms on the table.The letter she had been reading before Captain Nat's arrival fell from her waist to the floor and lay there,its badly spelled and blotted lines showing black and fateful against the white paper.And she cried,tears of utter loneliness and despair.
The clouds thickened as the afternoon passed.The setting sun was hidden behind them;over the horizon of ocean and bay the fog banks were rolling in tumbled,crumpled masses.The shadows in the lonely sitting room deepened.There came a knock at the dining-room door.
Keziah sprang from her chair,smoothed her hair,hastily wiped her eyes,picked up the dropped letter and went to admit the visitor,whoever he or she might be.She was glad of the shadows,they prevented her face from being seen too plainly.
Good afternoon,she said,opening the door.Oh!it's you,is it?Yes,admitted Abishai Pepper,standing on the stone step,and shifting uneasily from one foot to the other.Yes,Keziah,it's--it's me,thank you.
Don't mention it.Well,is Laviny with you?No--o,she ain't.She--she didn't come.
Hum!Did she know you was comin'?
No--o,I don't cal'late she did.
I see.Well,what do you want?
Mrs.Coffin's welcome was not too cordial.She had laughed many times over Abishai's proposal of marriage,but she had never quite forgiven him for making her ridiculous on that occasion.
Incidentally,she did not feel like laughing.
What do you want?she repeated.
Kyan was plainly nervous.
I only wanted to see Mr.Ellery,he announced.It's all right,Keziah.You needn't be afraid.Afraid!What on earth should I be afraid of?Why--why,I didn't know but you might be afraid I was goin'to--to talk about what we talked about when I--I talked to you that day up at--There!that'll do.It ain't me that would have reason to be afraid if THAT was what you come for.What do you want?Don't stand there dancin'a jig.I only wanted to see Mr.Ellery.
He's out.Good day.
But I won't keep him but a minute.
He's out,I tell you.Do you want to leave a message?No--o.No,I guess not.
Was it important?
Oh!I don't know.Kind of,maybe.I wanted to ask his advice about somethin'.It's a secret.Only him and me know about it.
Good-by.
Shall I tell him you'll call again?Or ask him to come up to your house?Mr.Pepper,who had started to go,now hurried back to the steps.
No,no,he protested,in alarm.Don't you tell him that.Iwouldn't have him come there for no money.Why,Laviny,she--Oh,Laviny isn't in the secret,then?Keziah smiled in spite of herself.
Not exactly.That is,not much.Don't you tell her I come here,will you?I'll find Mr.Ellery.I know where he is.I wouldn't go to the Danielses',if I was you.Elkanah might not like to have you chasin'after his visitors.Oh,the minister ain't at the Danielses',not as late's this,he ain't.I know where he is.You do?The housekeeper looked at him keenly.
Yes,sir,I do.I know where he goes Sunday afternoons--and why he goes,too.Mr.Ellery and me's good friends.We understand each other.Look here,Kyan Pepper!What are you talkin'about?Nothin',nothin'.Good day.
Stop!Stand still!Come in the house here.I want you to.No,no,Keziah.Really,I'd love to,but I can't stop.Come in,I tell you.
