Lieders twisted his head away. "No," said he, "I don't eat none of that breakfast, not if you make fresh coffee all the morning;I feel like I don't eat never no more on earth."Thekla knew that the obstinate nature that she tempted was proof against temptation; if Kurt chose to starve, starve he would with food at his elbow.
"Oh, papa," she cried, helplessly, "what IS the matter with you?""Just dying is the matter with me, Thekla. If I can't die one way I kin another. Now Thekla, I want you to quit crying and listen.
After I'm gone you go to the boss, young Mr. Lossing--but I always called him Harry because he learned his trade of me, Thekla, but he don't think of that now--and you tell him old Lieders that worked for him thirty years is dead, but he didn't hold no hard feelings, he knowed he done wrong 'bout that mantel.
Mind you tell him."
"Yes, papa," said Thekla, which was a surprise to Kurt;he had dreaded a weak flood of tears and protestations.
But there were no tears, no protestations, only a long look at him and a contraction of the eyebrows as if Thekla were trying to think of something that eluded her. She placed the coffee on the tray beside the other breakfast. For a while the room was very still.
Lieders could not see the look of resolve that finally smoothed the perplexed lines out of his wife's kind, simple old face.
She rose. "Kurt," she said, "I don't guess you remember this is our wedding-day; it was this day, eighteen year we was married.""So!" said Lieders, "well, I was a bad bargain to you, Thekla;after you nursed your father that was a cripple for twenty years, I thought it would be easy with me; but I was a bad bargain.""The Lord knows best about that," said Thekla, simply, "be it how it be, you are the only man I ever had or will have, and I don't like you starve yourself. Papa, say you don't kill yourself, to-day, and dat you will eat your breakfast!""Yes," Lieders repeated in German, "a bad bargain for thee, that is sure.
But thou hast been a good bargain for me. Here! I promise.
Not this day. Give me the coffee."
He had seasons, all the morning, of wondering over his meekness, and his agreement to be tied up again, at night. But still, what did a day matter? a man humors women's notions; and starving was so tedious. Between whiles he elaborated a scheme to attain his end. How easy to outwit the silly Thekla! His eyes shone, as he hid the little, sharp knife up his cuff. "Let her tie me!"says Lieders, "I keep my word. To-morrow I be out of this.
He won't git a man like me, pretty soon!"
Thekla went about her daily tasks, with her every-day air;but, now and again, that same pucker of thought returned to her forehead; and, more than once, Lieders saw her stand over some dish, poising her spoon in air, too abstracted to notice his cynical observation.
The dinner was more elaborate than common, and Thekla had broached a bottle of her currant wine. She gravely drank Lieders's health.
"And many good days, papa," she said.
Lieders felt a queer movement of pity. After the table was cleared, he helped his wife to wash and wipe the dishes as his custom was of a Sunday or holiday. He wiped dishes as he did everything, neatly, slowly, with a careful deliberation.
Not until the dishes were put away and the couple were seated, did Thekla speak.
"Kurt," she said, "I got to talk to you."
An inarticulate groan and a glance at the door from Lieders.
"I just got to, papa. It aint righd for you to do the way you been doing for so long time; efery little whiles you try to kill yourself; no, papa, that aint righd!"Kurt, who had gotten out his pencils and compasses and other drawing tools, grunted: "I got to look at my work, Thekla, now;I am too busy to talk."
"No, Kurt, no, papa"--the hands holding the blue apron that she was embroidering with white linen began to tremble; Lieders had not the least idea what a strain it was on this reticent, slow of speech woman who had stood in awe of him for eighteen years, to discuss the horror of her life; but he could not help marking her agitation.
She went on, desperately: "Yes, papa, I got to talk it oud with you.
You had ought to listen, 'cause I always been a good wife to you and nefer refused you notings. No.""Well, I aint saying I done it 'cause you been bad to me;everybody knows we aint had no trouble."
"But everybody what don't know us, when they read how you tried to kill yourself in the papers, they think it was me.
That always is so. And now I never can any more sleep nights, for you is always maybe git up and do something to yourself.
So now, I got to talk to you, papa. Papa, how could you done so?"Lieders twisted his feet under the rungs of his chair;he opened his mouth, but only to shut it again with a click of his teeth.
"I got my mind made up, papa. I tought and I tought. I know WHY you done it; you done it 'cause you and the boss was mad at each other.
The boss hadn't no righd to let you go ------""Yes, he had, I madded him first; I was a fool. Of course I knowed more than him 'bout the work, but I hadn't no right to go against him.
The boss is all right."
"Yes, papa, I got my mind made up"--like most sluggish spirits there was an immense momentum about Thekla's mind, once get it fairly started it was not to be diverted--"you never killed yourself before you used to git mad at the boss.
You was afraid he would send you away; and now you have sent yourself away you don't want to live, 'cause you do not know how you can git along without the shop.
But you want to get back, you want to get back more as you want to kill yourself. Yes, papa, I know, I know where you did used to go, nights. Now"--she changed her speech unconsciously to the tongue of her youth--"it is not fair, it is not fair to me that thou shouldst treat me like that, thou dost belong to me, also; so I say, my Kurt, wilt thou make a bargain with me?
