登陆注册
14825900000018

第18章

I had expected that his bliss would continue to overflow in brief bulletins, and his silence was possibly an indication that it had been clouded. At last I wrote to his hotel at Wiesbaden, but received no answer; whereupon, as my next resource, I repaired to his former lodging at Homburg, where I thought it possible he had left property which he would sooner or later send for. There I learned that he had indeed just telegraphed from Cologne for his luggage. To Cologne I immediately despatched a line of inquiry as to his prosperity and the cause of his silence. The next day I received three words in answer--a simple uncommented request that I would come to him. I lost no time, and reached him in the course of a few hours. It was dark when I arrived, and the city was sheeted in a cold autumnal rain. Pickering had stumbled, with an indifference which was itself a symptom of distress, on a certain musty old Mainzerhof, and I found him sitting over a smouldering fire in a vast dingy chamber which looked as if it had grown gray with watching the ennui of ten generations of travellers. Looking at him, as he rose on my entrance, I saw that he was in extreme tribulation. He was pale and haggard; his face was five years older. Now, at least, in all conscience, he had tasted of the cup of life! I was anxious to know what had turned it so suddenly to bitterness; but I spared him all importunate curiosity, and let him take his time. I accepted tacitly his tacit confession of distress, and we made for a while a feeble effort to discuss the picturesqueness of Cologne. At last he rose and stood a long time looking into the fire, while I slowly paced the length of the dusky room.

"Well!" he said, as I came back; "I wanted knowledge, and I certainly know something I didn't a month ago." And herewith, calmly and succinctly enough, as if dismay had worn itself out, he related the history of the foregoing days. He touched lightly on details; he evidently never was to gush as freely again as he had done during the prosperity of his suit. He had been accepted one evening, as explicitly as his imagination could desire, and had gone forth in his rapture and roamed about till nearly morning in the gardens of the Conversation-house, taking the stars and the perfumes of the summer night into his confidence. "It is worth it all, almost," he said, "to have been wound up for an hour to that celestial pitch. No man, I am sure, can ever know it but once." The next morning he had repaired to Madame Blumenthal's lodging and had been met, to his amazement, by a naked refusal to see him. He had strode about for a couple of hours--in another mood--and then had returned to the charge. The servant handed him a three-cornered note; it contained these words: "Leave me alone to-day; I will give you ten minutes to-morrow evening." Of the next thirty-six hours he could give no coherent account, but at the appointed time Madame Blumenthal had received him. Almost before she spoke there had come to him a sense of the depth of his folly in supposing he knew her. "One has heard all one's days," he said, "of people removing the mask; it's one of the stock phrases of romance. Well, there she stood with her mask in her hand. Her face," he went on gravely, after a pause--"her face was horrible!" . . . "I give you ten minutes," she had said, pointing to the clock. "Make your scene, tear your hair, brandish your dagger!" And she had sat down and folded her arms. "It's not a joke," she cried, "it's dead earnest; let us have it over. You are dismissed--have you nothing to say?" He had stammered some frantic demand for an explanation; and she had risen and come near him, looking at him from head to feet, very pale, and evidently more excited than she wished him to see. "I have done with you!" she said, with a smile; "you ought to have done with me! It has all been delightful, but there are excellent reasons why it should come to an end." "You have been playing a part, then," he had gasped out; "you never cared for me?" "Yes; till I knew you; till I saw how far you would go. But now the story's finished; we have reached the denoument. We will close the book and be good friends." "To see how far I would go?" he had repeated. "You led me on, meaning all the while to do THIS!" "I led you on, if you will. I received your visits, in season and out! Sometimes they were very entertaining;sometimes they bored me fearfully. But you were such a very curious case of--what shall I call it?--of sincerity, that I determined to take good and bad together. I wanted to make you commit yourself unmistakably. I should have preferred not to bring you to this place; but that too was necessary. Of course I can't marry you; Ican do better. So can you, for that matter; thank your fate for it.

You have thought wonders of me for a month, but your good-humour wouldn't last. I am too old and too wise; you are too young and too foolish. It seems to me that I have been very good to you; I have entertained you to the top of your bent, and, except perhaps that Iam a little brusque just now, you have nothing to complain of. Iwould have let you down more gently if I could have taken another month to it; but circumstances have forced my hand. Abuse me, curse me, if you like. I will make every allowance!" Pickering listened to all this intently enough to perceive that, as if by some sudden natural cataclysm, the ground had broken away at his feet, and that he must recoil. He turned away in dumb amazement. "I don't know how I seemed to be taking it," he said, "but she seemed really to desire--I don't know why--something in the way of reproach and vituperation.

But I couldn't, in that way, have uttered a syllable. I was sickened; I wanted to get away into the air--to shake her off and come to my senses. 'Have you nothing, nothing, nothing to say?' she cried, as if she were disappointed, while I stood with my hand on the door. 'Haven't I treated you to talk enough?' I believed I answered.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 九天落

    九天落

    他,忘记自己的身世,对着一整个山洞的军火无语凝噎!他,没什么远大理想,一言不合就端起枪狙杀王朝重臣!他,只为了完成使命,踏遍万里河山追寻九大天落神器!他叫音河,世上没有他的传说,因为故事,才刚刚开始……
  • 买萌宝送妈咪:爹地你要不

    买萌宝送妈咪:爹地你要不

    外界都说寒家少爷,是同性恋,只有他知道他在等他的那个小丫头出现。唯有她可以命令他,唯有她可以得到他的宠爱,唯有她是他承认的媳妇
  • 齐飞,陌路,疏远

    齐飞,陌路,疏远

    她,齐陌疏,最完美的身世,却从来没有自由,她的未来被全部安排好。当她准备读最喜欢的大学时,却因为未来的老公而待在另一个没有生气的大学。“如果最终注定我嫁给你,敬函远,你听着,我不怨任何人,我会心甘情愿的嫁给你,但我不会快乐。”“寇子飞,谢谢·····对不起!”“程录含,我恨你!”
  • 呦呦鹿鸣,宴乐君心

    呦呦鹿鸣,宴乐君心

    陆小染开始深深觉得自己的人品堪忧,因为在三八妇女节她收到的节日礼物居然是一枚定时炸弹???当然重点不是这枚炸弹,重点是她一青春大好美女子TMD居然在三八妇女节这一天收到了礼物,简直不能忍好嘛……然后陆小染她就穿了,穿到了她忠爱的作者大大最新完结的一本古言小说中,成为了书中爹爹漠视、娘亲无视、兄弟姐妹鄙视的成长型炮灰——陆呦鸣。NND,累觉不爱哟!!!(T▁T)不过彼时的陆小染此时的陆呦鸣也不得不承认,上帝对她还是仁慈的,因为这本书中让她眷恋已久的男人真的能够活生生的站在了她的面前,口水ying~~~好吧,其实这就是一个放不下过去的女逗逼曲线追爱,最后却被另一只披着美人皮的狐狸给拆吃入腹的故事。
  • 高原彩虹之梦

    高原彩虹之梦

    改革开放恢复高考,因文革错失大学梦的老三届与文革后成长起来的中学生一起走进了考场,幸运者成为那百分之三的录取率中的一员,昂首走进校园大门,被称为天之骄子。77级、78级、79级被称为新三届,他们开始一种全新的校园生活,他们的未来充满希望,他们步入社会后,走上了不同的人生道路······。
  • 侍天月影

    侍天月影

    上古世纪,这片大陆受到了前所未有的危机,外星生物不断夺取这里的资源,人们只能坐以待毙。这时,各地一流法师借助月之力,分别寄于六道之主,人们有了抵抗外星生物的力量,人们称之为-侍者,世界迎来了再一次的和平,关于侍者的消息,也风消云散。上万年后,新的危机悄然逼近,侍者重现大陆……
  • 剑之妖邪

    剑之妖邪

    阴谋陷害,家破人亡,江氏遗孤。何为仙?何为道?仙道就可以随便制裁良人?何为权?何为力?权力就可以让人人面兽心?当孱弱之婴长大成人,当江姓之子学得杀人之技——手提利剑一柄,杀尽该杀之人!
  • 我是第三者

    我是第三者

    不知不觉中我成了好朋友梦颜的情敌————第三者,我爱上了梦颜的未婚夫俊熙,准确地说是我早就爱上了他。他也喜欢我吗?他喜欢我为什么会跟颜订婚呢?不喜欢我?那为什么要对我这么好呢?他的眼神为什么总有那么多的无奈?他的眼神为什么总会触动着我的心?爱情有对和错吗?什么是对?什么是错?也许爱情根本就没有对和错。也许爱情里根本也没有第三者,只有爱和不爱之分。
  • 我在末世玩卡牌

    我在末世玩卡牌

    【新书《恐怖二次元》已上传!】以为末世里会出现丧尸?不,丧尸已经Low了!残暴无情的木偶才是真正的恐惧……以为末世里只剩下绝望?不,绝望中尚有一线生机!散落在各地的卡牌是人类最后的希望!人物卡、怪物卡、神魔卡、装备卡、武器卡……从卡牌中召唤出各个异次元位面的力量,组合出最强卡牌的人才能活到最后!我,秦奋,为了能平安度过每一天好好活着,为了能收集强力的牌组好好活着,为了能解开末世之谜好好活着……除此之外,我真的别无选择了!PS:主角拥有娘化能力。PS2:包含二次元人物。PS3:已完本VIP小说《在异次元的生存游戏岛》
  • 大方等如来藏经

    大方等如来藏经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。