I should not like Greathed to think me luke-warm.'
'But you'll come back?' I asked, distressed at the thought of this sudden parting.
'Oh, yes! At least I hope so. They may want me to go out by the next steamer, that will be on Saturday.' He began to eat and drink standing, but I think he was quite unconscious of the nature of either his food or his drink.
'I will go to-night. Activity and readiness go a long way in our profession.
Remember that, my boy! I hope I shall come back, but if I don't, be sure and recollect all the words of wisdom that have fallen from my lips. Now where's the portmanteau? If I can gain half an hour for a gathering up of my things in Eltham, so much the better. I'm clear of debt anyhow; and what I owe for my lodgings you can pay for me out of my quarter's salary, due November 4th.'
'Then you don't think you will come back?' I said, despondingly.
'I will come back some time, never fear,' said he, kindly. 'I may be back in a couple of days, having been found in-competent for the Canadian work; or I may not be wanted to go out so soon as I now anticipate. Anyhow you don't suppose I am going to forget you, Paul this work out there ought not to take me above two years, and, perhaps, after that, we may be employed together again.'
Perhaps! I had very little hope. The same kind of happy days never returns.
However, I did all I could in helping him: clothes, papers, books, instruments; how we pushed and struggled--how I stuffed. All was done in a much shorter time than we had calculated upon, when I had run down to the sheds to order the engine. I was going to drive him to Eltham. We sate ready for a summons.
Holdsworth took up the little nosegay that he had brought away from the Hope Farm, and had laid on the mantel-piece on first coming into the room.
He smelt at it, and caressed it with his lips.
'What grieves me is that I did not know--that I have not said good-bye to--to them.'
He spoke in a grave tone, the shadow of the coming separation falling upon him at last.
'I will tell them,' said I. 'I am sure they will be very sorry.' Then we were silent.
'I never liked any family so much.'
'I knew you would like them.'
'How one's thoughts change,--this morning I was full of a hope, Paul.'
He paused, and then he said,--'You put that sketch in carefully?'
'That outline of a head?' asked I. But I knew he meant an abortive sketch of Phillis, which had not been successful enough for him to complete it with shading or colouring.
'Yes. What a sweet innocent face it is! and yet so--Oh, dear!'
He sighed and got up, his hands in his pockets, to walk up and down the room in evident disturbance of mind. He suddenly stopped opposite to me.
'You'll tell them how it all was. Be sure and tell the good minister that I was so sorry not to wish him good-bye, and to thank him and his wife for all their kindness. As for Phillis,--please God in two years I'll be back and tell her myself all in my heart.'
'You love Phillis, then?' said I.
'Love her! Yes, that I do. Who could help it, seeing her as I have done?
Her character as unusual and rare as her beauty! God bless her! God keep her in her high tranquillity, her pure innocence.--Two years! It is a long time.--But she lives in such seclusion, almost like the sleeping beauty, Paul,'--(he was smiling now, though a minute before I had thought him on the verge of tears,) --'but I shall come back like a prince from Canada, and waken her to my love. I can't help hoping that it won't be difficult, eh, Paul?'
This touch of coxcombry displeased me a little, and I made no answer.
He went on, half apologetically,--'You see, the salary they offer me is large; and beside that, this experience will give me a name which will entitle me to expect a still larger in any future undertaking.'
'That won't influence Phillis.'
'No! but it will make me more eligible in the eyes of her father and mother.'
I made no answer.
'You give me your best wishes, Paul,' said he, almost pleading. 'You would like me for a cousin?'
I heard the scream and whistle of the engine ready down at the sheds.
'Aye, that I should,' I replied, suddenly softened towards my friend now that he was going away. 'I wish you were to be married to-morrow, and I were to be best man.'
'Thank you, lad. Now for this cursed portmanteau (how the minister would be shocked); but it is heavy!' and off we sped into the darkness.
He only just caught the night train at Eltham, and I slept, desolately enough, at my old lodgings at Miss Dawsons', for that night. Of course the next few days I was busier than ever, doing both his work and my own.
Then came a letter from him, very short and affectionate. He was going out in the Saturday steamer, as he had more than half expected; and by the following Monday the man who was to succeed him would be down at Eltham.
There was a P.S., with oniy these words:--'My nosegay goes with me to Canada, but I do not need it to remind me of Hope Farm.'
Saturday came; but it was very late before I could go out to the farm.
It was a frosty night, the stars shone clear above me, and the road was crisping beneath my feet. They must have heard my footsteps before I got up to the house. They were sitting at their usual employments in the house-place when I went in. Phillis's eyes went beyond me in their look of welcome, and then fell in quiet disappointment on her work.
'And where's Mr Holdsworth?' asked cousin Holman, in a minute or two.
'I hope his cold is not worse,--I did not like his short cough.'
I laughed awkwardly; for I felt that I was the bearer of unpleasant news.
'His cold had need be better--for he's gone--gone away to Canada!'
I purposely looked away from Phillis, as I thus abruptly told my news.
'To Canada!' said the minister.
'Gone away!' said his wife. But no word from Phillis.
'Yes!' said I. 'He found a letter at Hornby when we got home the other night-- when we got home from here; he ought to have got it sooner; he was ordered to go up to London directly, and to see some people about a new line in Canada, and he's gone to lay it down; he has sailed to-day.
