I have oftin, smokin my own shroot in silents in a corner of the Diwann, listened to Jools and his friends inwaying aginst Hingland, and boastin of their own immortial country. How they did go on about Wellintun, and what an arty contamp they ad for him!--how they used to prove that France was the Light, the Scenter-pint, the Igsample and hadmiration of the whole world! And though I scarcely take a French paper now-a-days (I lived in early days as groom in a French famly three years, and therefore knows the languidg), though, I say, you can't take up Jools's paper, the Orriflam, without readin that a minister has committed bribery and perjury, or that a littery man has committed perjury and murder, or that a Duke has stabbed his wife in fifty places, or some story equally horrible; yet for all that it's admiral to see how the French gents will swagger--how they will be the scenters of civilization--how they will be the Igsamples of Europ, and nothink shall prevent 'em--knowing they will have it, I say I listen, smokin my pip in silence. But to our tail.
Reglar every evening there came to the "Constantanople" a young gent etired in the igth of fashn; and indead presenting by the cleanlyness of his appearants and linning (which was generally a pink or blew shurt, with a cricketer or a dansuse pattern) rather a contrast to the dinjy and whistkcard sosaity of the Diwann. As for wiskars, this young mann had none beyond a little yallow tought to his chin, which you woodn notas, only he was always pulling at it.
His statue was diminnative, but his coschume supubb, for he had the tippiest Jane boots, the ivoryheadest canes, the most gawjus scarlick Jonville ties, and the most Scotch-plaidest trowseys, of any customer of that establishment. He was univusaly called Milord.
"Que est ce jeune seigneur? Who is this young hurl who comes knightly to the 'Constantanople,' who is so proddigl of his gold (for indeed the young gent would frequinly propoase gininwater to the company), and who drinks so much gin?" asked Munseer Chacabac of a friend from the "Hotel de l'Ail.""His name is Lord Yardham," answered that friend. "He never comes here but at night--and why?""Y?" igsclaimed Jools, istonisht.
"Why? because he is engaygd all day--and do you know where he is engaygd all day?""Where?" asked Jools.
"At the Foring Office--NOW do you begin to understand?"--Jools trembled.
He speaks of his uncle, the head of that office.--"Who IS the head of that offis?--Palmerston.""The nephew of Palmerston!" said Jools, almost in a fit.
"Lor Yardham pretends not to speak French," the other went on. "He pretends he can only say wee and commong porty voo. Shallow humbug!--I have marked him during our conversations.--When we have spoken of the glory of France among the nations, I have seen his eye kindle, and his perfidious lip curl with rage. When they have discussed before him, the Imprudents! the affairs of Europe, and Raggybritchovich has shown us the next Circassian Campaign, or Sapousne has laid hare the plan of the Calabrian patriots for the next insurrection, I have marked this stranger--this Lor Yardham.
He smokes, 'tis to conceal his countenance; he drinks gin, 'tis to hide his face in the goblet. And be sure, he carries every word of our conversation to the perfidious Palmerston, his uncle.""I will beard him in his den," thought Jools. "I will meet him corps-a-corps--the tyrant of Europe shall suffer through his nephew, and I will shoot him as dead as Dujarrier."When Lor Yardham came to the "Constantanople" that night, Jools i'd him savidgely from edd to foot, while Lord Yardham replied the same. It wasn't much for either to do--neyther being more than 4foot ten hi--Jools was a grannydear in his company of the Nashnal Gard, and was as brayv as a lion.
"Ah, l'Angleterre, l'Angleterre, tu nous dois une revanche," said Jools, crossing his arms and grinding his teeth at Lord Yardham.
"Wee," said Lord Yardham; "wee."
"Delenda est Carthago!" howled out Jools.
"Oh, wee," said the Erl of Yardham, and at the same moment his glas of ginawater coming in, he took a drink, saying, "A voternsanty, Munseer:" and then he offered it like a man of fashn to Jools.
A light broak on Jools's mind as he igsepted the refreshmint.
"Sapoase," he said, "instedd of slaughtering this nephew of the infamous Palmerston, I extract his secrets from him; suppose I pump him--suppose I unveil his schemes and send them to my paper? La France may hear the name of Jools de Chacabac, and the star of honor may glitter on my bosom."So axepting Lord Yardham's cortasy, he returned it by ordering another glass of gin at his own expence, and they both drank it on the counter, where Jools talked of the affaers of Europ all night.
To everything he said, the Earl of Yardham answered, "Wee, wee;"except at the end of the evening, when he squeeged his & and said, "Bong swore.""There's nothing like goin amongst 'em to equire the reel pronounciation," his lordship said, as he let himself into his lodgings with his latch-key. "That was a very eloquent young gent at the 'Constantinople,' and I'll patronize him.""Ah, perfide, je te demasquerai!" Jools remarked to himself as he went to bed in his "Hotel de l'Ail." And they met the next night, and from that heavning the young men were continyually together.
Well, one day, as they were walking in the Quadrant, Jools talking, and Lord Yardham saying, "Wee, wee," they were struck all of a heap by seeing--But my paper is igshosted, and I must dixcribe what they sor in the nex number.
III.
THE CASTLE OF THE ISLAND OF FOGO.
The travler who pesews his dalitefle coarse through the fair rellum of Franse (as a great romantic landskippist and neamsack of mind would say) never chaumed his i's within a site more lovely, or vu'd a pallis more magniffiznt than that which was the buthplace of the Eroing of this Trew Tale. Phansy a country through whose werdant planes the selvery Garonne wines, like--like a benevvolent sarpent.
