登陆注册
14198700000048

第48章 SYLVIA OF THE LETTERS.(4)

He had made a mistake, so he told himself. Age may be attracted by contrast, but youth has no use for its opposite. He would send Matthew away. He could return for week-ends. Continually so close to one another, they saw only one another's specks and flaws; there is no beauty without perspective. Matthew wanted the corners rubbed off him, that was all. Mixing more with men, his priggishness would be laughed out of him. Otherwise he was quite a decent youngster, clean minded, high principled. Clever, too: he often said quite unexpected things. With approaching womanhood, changes were taking place in Ann. Seeing her every day one hardly noticed them; but there were times when, standing before him flushed from a walk or bending over him to kiss him before starting for some friendly dance, Abner would blink his eyes and be puzzled. The thin arms were growing round and firm; the sallow complexion warming into olive; the once patchy, mouse-coloured hair darkening into a rich harmony of brown. The eyes beneath her level brows, that had always been her charm, still reminded Abner of her mother; but there was more light in them, more danger.

"I'll run down to Albany and talk to Jephson about him," decided Abner. "He can come home on Saturdays."

The plot might have succeeded: one never can tell. But a New York blizzard put a stop to it. The cars broke down, and Abner, walking home in thin shoes from a meeting, caught a chill, which, being neglected, proved fatal.

Abner was troubled as he lay upon his bed. The children were sitting very silent by the window. He sent Matthew out on a message, and then beckoned Ann to come to him. He loved the boy, too, but Ann was nearer to him.

"You haven't thought any more," he whispered, "about--"

"No," answered Ann. "You wished me not to."

"You must never think," he said, "to show your love for my memory by doing anything that would not make you happy. If I am anywhere around," he continued with a smile, "it will be your good I shall be watching for, not my own way. You will remember that?"

He had meant to do more for them, but the end had come so much sooner than he had expected. To Ann he left the house (Mrs. Travers had already retired on a small pension) and a sum that, judiciously invested, the friend and attorney thought should be sufficient for her needs, even supposing--The friend and attorney, pausing to dwell upon the oval face with its dark eyes, left the sentence unfinished.

To Matthew he wrote a loving letter, enclosing a thousand dollars.

He knew that Matthew, now in a position to earn his living as a journalist, would rather have taken nothing. It was to be looked upon merely as a parting gift. Matthew decided to spend it on travel. It would fit him the better for his journalistic career, so he explained to Ann. But in his heart he had other ambitions. It would enable him to put them to the test.

So there came an evening when Ann stood waving a handkerchief as a great liner cast its moorings. She watched it till its lights grew dim, and then returned to West Twentieth Street. Strangers would take possession of it on the morrow. Ann had her supper in the kitchen in company with the nurse, who had stayed on at her request; and that night, slipping noiselessly from her room, she lay upon the floor, her head resting against the arm of the chair where Abner had been wont to sit and smoke his evening pipe; somehow it seemed to comfort her. And Matthew the while, beneath the stars, was pacing the silent deck of the great liner and planning out the future.

To only one other being had he ever confided his dreams. She lay in the churchyard; and there was nothing left to encourage him but his own heart. But he had no doubts. He would be a great writer. His two hundred pounds would support him till he had gained a foothold.

After that he would climb swiftly. He had done right, so he told himself, to turn his back on journalism: the grave of literature.

He would see men and cities, writing as he went. Looking back, years later, he was able to congratulate himself on having chosen the right road. He thought it would lead him by easy ascent to fame and fortune. It did better for him than that. It led him through poverty and loneliness, through hope deferred and heartache--through long nights of fear, when pride and confidence fell upon him, leaving him only the courage to endure.

His great poems, his brilliant essays, had been rejected so often that even he himself had lost all love for them. At the suggestion of an editor more kindly than the general run, and urged by need, he had written some short pieces of a less ambitious nature. It was in bitter disappointment he commenced them, regarding them as mere pot-boilers. He would not give them his name. He signed them "Aston Rowant." It was the name of the village in Oxfordshire where he had been born. It occurred to him by chance. It would serve the purpose as well as another. As the work progressed it grew upon him. He made his stories out of incidents and people he had seen; everyday comedies and tragedies that he had lived among, of things that he had felt; and when after their appearance in the magazine a publisher was found willing to make them into a book, hope revived in him.

It was but short-lived. The few reviews that reached him contained nothing but ridicule. So he had no place even as a literary hack!

He was living in Paris at the time in a noisy, evil-smelling street leading out of the Quai Saint-Michel. He thought of Chatterton, and would loaf on the bridges looking down into the river where the drowned lights twinkled.

And then one day there came to him a letter, sent on to him from the publisher of his one book. It was signed "Sylvia," nothing else, and bore no address. Matthew picked up the envelope. The postmark was "London, S.E."

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 灭世妖王

    灭世妖王

    父亲被害,母亲遭到诬陷,年少的曾天昊被逐出家门,来到妖的领地。面对着重重磨难,他是选择保留人格?亦或是歃血为妖?面对着昔日亲人的追杀,他又能否报仇雪恨,夺回原本属于自己的荣耀?
  • 妖精倾城:愿得一人心

    妖精倾城:愿得一人心

    或许我们该用一些时间忘记一些事情、回味一些事情,那些事情不是所谓的隐忍的、痛苦的,而是神秘的、美丽的。
  • 通书述解

    通书述解

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 做梦变成吸血鬼

    做梦变成吸血鬼

    你问我,你做梦变成吸血鬼?是的,一个梦中的日记。如何才能变成吸血鬼?很麻烦,需要一个人先喝掉吸血鬼的血液,之后由这只吸血鬼杀掉,不过,这个人会复活,复活之后他必须吸一次人血,完成转化,才能变成真正的吸血鬼。吸血鬼怕什么?吸血鬼怕木桩插进心脏,吸血鬼怕阳光,吸血鬼怕心脏被掏出来,吸血鬼怕头被扭掉。吸血鬼喜欢孤身一人么?是的!不过在有些时候他们需要聚集在一起。吸血鬼可以生育么?可以,吸血鬼只能和人类生育,生出来的并不是吸血鬼,而是人!你想变成吸血鬼么?不想?想?想的话就请你追随吸血鬼的脚步。去寻找他们!
  • 改命—御剑术

    改命—御剑术

    执剑之手,为何而举?执心之剑,为何而立?
  • 蛮荒征途

    蛮荒征途

    少年狂,欲飞翔,挥斥方遵斗志昂;破天罡,踏风浪,戮尽恩仇我为王!演绎无尽的野蛮,踏上征服蛮荒之途!新书上传,骆驼恳请大家收藏;觉得本书还行的,别忘了帮忙推荐一下;诸君请与骆驼一道,踏上《蛮荒征途》!
  • 刘志宏是我唯一信仰

    刘志宏是我唯一信仰

    “现在红脸,以后红眼。我不知道以后会发生什么,但我知道,此刻我是爱你的。”----林曦。_____“现在爱你,将来爱你,誓言在这里定下,我定当遵守。”-----刘志宏。___可惜计划赶不上变化,可惜爱情最害怕婊子.
  • 盛宠王妃:独霸天下

    盛宠王妃:独霸天下

    莫名的穿越成一国的公主,后又嫁给传说中杀人不眨眼,脾气暴躁性情不定的翼王,当上翼王妃,展开了一场虐心的爱情……第一次动心的她能否如意得到一人心……“我会爱你一辈子……”─寒夜羽“我用曾经的飞蛾扑火,换来今天手心里握着的一把余温尚存的灰烬。”─安雅馨
  • 大干爹系统

    大干爹系统

    宅男古田带着遗憾死去,死后重生,回到高中时代,他立志将所有遗憾填补。没当过兵?不要紧,咱干爹是传奇将军。不是富二代?也不要紧,咱干爹是世界五百强领头人。没事请干爹喝喝茶,下下棋,再没事了泡泡干爹的亲女儿。在这个拼爹的年代,亲爹没什么实力不要紧,最重要的是干爹随便认!这是一个宅男带领亲爹认遍所有强悍干爹的故事。好吧,再认两个干爹就能拿下无限技能了,我必须得抓紧啊。——古田
  • 穿商

    穿商

    这是一本讲述一个刚毕业的高材生穿越到异界大陆,凭借着自己在原来世界知识和努力,一步一步踏上成功的故事。