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第29章 THE TOWN PUMP

Nathaniel Hawthorne (b.1804,d.1864) was born in Salem,Mass. He graduated at Bowdoin College in 1825. His earliest literary productions,written for periodicals,were published in twvolumes-the first in 1837,the second in 1842- under the title of "Twice-Told Tales," "Mosses from an Old Manse," another series of tales and sketches,was published in 1845. From 1846 t1850 he was surveyor of the port of Salem. In 1852 he was appointed United States consul for Liverpool. After holding this office four years,he traveled for some time on the continent. His most popular works are "The Scarlet Letter," a work showing a deep knowledge of human nature,"The House of the Seven Gables," "The Blithedale Romance." and "The Marble Faun," an Italian romance,which is regarded by many as the best of his works. Being of a modest and retiring disposition,Mr. Hawthorne avoided publicity. Most of his works are highly imaginative. As a prose writer he has nsuperior among American authors. He died at Plymouth,N. H.while on a visit tthe White Mountains for his health.

1.Noon,by the north clock! Noon,by the east! High noon,too,by those hot sunbeams which fall,scarcely aslope,upon my head,and almost make the water bubble and smoke in the trough under my nose. Truly,we public characters have a tough time of it! And among all the town officers,chosen at the yearly meeting,where is he that sustains,for a single year,the burden of such manifold duties as are imposed,in perpetuity1,upon the Town Pump?

2.The title of town treasurer is rightfully mine,as guardian of1 Perpetuity,endless duration.

the best treasure the town has. The overseers of the poor ought tmake me their chairman,since I provide bountifully for the pauper,without expense thim that pays taxes. I am at the head of the fire department,and one of the physicians of the board of health. As a keeper or the peace,all water drinkers confess me equal tthe constable. I perform some of the duties of the town clerk,by promulgating1 public notices,when they are pasted on my front.

3.Tspeak within bounds,I am chief person of the municipality2,and exhibit,moreover,an admirable pattern tmy brother officers by the cool,steady,upright,downright,and impartial discharge of my business,and the constancy with which I stand tmy post. Summer or winter,nobody seeks me in vain;for all day long I am seen at the busiest corner,just above the market,stretching out my arms trich and poor alike;and at night I hold a lantern over my head,tshow where I am,and tkeep people out of the gutters.

4.At this sultr y noontide,I am cupbearer tthe parched populace,for whose benefit an iron goblet is chained tmy waist Like a dramseller on the public square,on a muster3 day,I cry aloud tall and sundry4,in my plainest accents,and at the very tiptop of my voice. "Here it is,gentlemen! Here is the good liquor! Walk up,walk up,gentlemen,walk up,walk up! Here is the superior stuff ! Here is the unadulterated5 ale of father Adam! better than Cognac6,Hollands,Jamaica,strong beer,or wine of any price;here it is,by the hogshead or the single glass,and not a cent tpay. Walk up,gentlemen,walk up and help yourselves!"

5.It were a pity if all this outcry should draw ncustomers. Here they come. A hot day,gentlemen. Quaff and away again,sas tkeep yourselves in a nice,cool sweat. You,my friend,will need another1Promulgating,announcing.2Municipality,a division of a country or of a city.3Muster day,parade day. 4 Sundry,several.5Unadulterated,pure,unmixed. 6 Cognac,a French brandy.cupful twash the dust out of your throat,if it be as thick there as it is on your cowhide shoes. I see that you have trudged half a score of miles to-day,and,like a wise man,have passed by the taverns,and stopped at the running brooks and well curbs. Otherwise,betwixt heat without and fire within,you would have been burnt ta cinder,or melted down tnothing at all-in the fashion of a jellyfish.

6.Drink,and make room for that other fellow,whseeks my aid tquench the fiery fever of last night's potations1,which he drained from ncup of mine. Welcome,most rubicund2 sir! You and I have been strangers hitherto;nor,tconfess the truth,will my nose be anxious for a closer intimacy,till the fumes of your breath be a little less potent.

7.Mercy on you,man! The water absolutely hisses down your red-hot gullet,and is converted quite intsteam in the miniature Tophet3,which you mistake for a stomach. Fill again,and tell me,on the word of an honest toper,did you ever,in cellar,tavern,or any other kind of dramshop,spend the price of your children's food for a swig half sdelicious? Now,for the first time these ten years,you know the flavor of cold water. Good-by;and whenever you are thirsty,recollect that I keep a constant supply at the old stand.

8.Whnext? Oh,my little friend,you are just let loose from school,and come hither tscrub your blooming face,and drown the memory of certain taps of the ferule,and other schoolboy troubles,in a draught from the Town Pump. Take it,pure as the current of your young life;take it,and may your heart and tongue never be scorched with a fiercer thirst than now.

9.There,my dear child,put down the cup,and yield your place tthis elderly gentleman,whtreads stenderly over the paving stones that I suspect he is afraid of breaking them. What! he limps by without smuch as thanking me,as if my hospitable offers were1Potations,drinkings.2Rubicund,inclining tredness. 3Tophet,the infernal regions.meant only for people whhave nwine cellars.

10.Well,well,sir,nharm done,I hope! Go,draw the cork,tip the decanter;but when your great toe shall set you a-roaring,it will be naffair of mine. If gentlemen love the pleasant titillation1 of the gout,it is all one tthe Town Pump. This thirsty dog,with his red tongue lolling out,does not scorn my hospitality,but stands on his hind legs,and laps eagerly out of the trough. See how lightly he capers away again! Jowler,did your worship ever have the gout?1Titillation,tickling.

11.Your pardon,good people! I must interrupt my stream of eloquence,and spout forth a stream of water treplenish1 the trough for this teamster and his twyoke of oxen,whhave come all the way from Staunton,or somewhere along that way. Npart of my business gives me more pleasure than the watering of cattle. Look! how rapidly they lower the watermark on the sides of the trough,till their capacious stomachs are moistened with a gallon or twapiece,and they can afford time tbreathe,with sighs of calm enjoyment! Now they roll their quiet eyes around the brim of their monstrous drinking vessel. An ox is your true toper.

12.I hold myself the grand reformer of the age. From my spout,and such spouts as mine,must flow the stream that shall cleanse our earth of a vast portion of its crime and anguish,which have gushed from the fiery fountains of the still. In this mighty enterprise,the cow shall be my great confederate. Milk and water!

13.Ahem! Dr y work this speechif ying ,especially tall unpracticed orators. I never conceived till now what toil the temperance lecturers undergfor my sake. Do,some kind Christian,pump a stroke or two,just twet my whistle. Thank you,sir. But tproceed.

14.The Town Pump and the Cow ! Such is the g lorious partnership that shall finally monopolize2 the whole business of quenching thirst. Blessed consummation3! Then Poverty shall pass away from the land,finding nhovel swretched where her squalid4 form may shelter itself. Then Disease,for lack of other victims,shall gnaw his own heart and die. Then Sin,if she dnot die,shall lose half her strength.

15.Then there will be nwar of households. The husband and the wife,drinking deep of peaceful joy,a calm bliss of temperate1Replenish,tfill again.2Monopolize,tobtain the whole.3Consummation,completion,termination. 4Squalid,filthy.affections,shall pass hand in hand through life,and lie down,not reluctantly,at its protracted1 close. Tthem the past will be nturmoil of mad dreams,nor the future an eternity of such moments as follow the delirium of a drunkard. Their dead faces shall express what their spirits were,and are tbe,by a lingering smile of memory and hope.

16.Drink,then,and be refreshed! The water is as pure and cold as when it slaked2 the thirst of the red hunter,and flowed beneath the aged bough,though now this gem of the wilderness is treasured under these hot stones,where nshadow falls,but from the brick buildings. But,still is this fountain the source of health,peace,and happiness,and I behold,with certainty and joy,the approach of the period when the virtues of cold water,tolittle valued since our father's days,will be fully appreciated and recognized by all.1Protracted,delayed.2Slaked,quenched.

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