The voice startled her,quieter than before but unmistakable. She hardly felt the pain of the brambles tearing into her hand as she jerked upright.
“What on earth are you doing here?”
“Thought I,d find you here,first weekend in September. Do you want these?”He held out a handful of berries,and then tipped them into her bag.“Perfect day-are there any bilberries?”
How could he be so calm,so casual,when anger was welling up inside her? She wanted to rage at him for spoiling her perfect day,but the words in her head wouldn,t come out.
“I-I haven,t looked.”Maggie turned away,her thoughts racing,her peace shattered. She thought about retreating to the safety of her car. She ambled along the path,picking the occasional berry,enthusiasm gone.
At last,they reached the point where all the moorland paths crossed. Seating herself at one end of the bench,she stretched her legs in front of her. Mike sat down as well a little way along and stared,like her,at the patchwork of fields that lay beneath them. She couldn,t recall the number of times they had come to this spot and shared a picnic lunch. But now,his nearness unsettled her,why couldn,t he sit somewhere else.
“Are you on your own?”Stupid question. No sooner was it said than Maggie wished she had phrased it differently or thought about it more. But it was the question that she had been wanting to ask and there seemed little point in dressing it up with more words.
“Yes.”He kept his eyes on the fields. Maggie didn,t speak,waiting for him to go on.“It didn,t last into the Spring. She moved on.”
For the first time that day,Maggie turned and really looked at her husband. His eyes were deeper,his hair greyer,his face more lined,and his expression more worn. A sad face. Somewhere deep inside she wanted to pull him close,to tell him that everything was fine,to make those eyes smile again. But the pain that he,d caused could not be erased by a hug,and she looked away.
After a while,she stood up. Despite the sunshine,there was a chill in the air. He took the bag and they made their way in silence. Maggie wondered what he was thinking,were his thoughts as much of a jumble as hers?
“You,ve time for a cup of tea before you go?”She hoped it sounded more like a question than an order.
“And would there be scones and blackberry jam?”
Maggie laughed,relaxing for the first time since hearing his voice.
“No scones,but I,ve fresh bread which is just as good.”
And after tea,she drove him to the bus stop. Getting out of the car,he turned,“Will you be out next week?”
“Possibly,if the weather holds.”
A brief nod and he joined the others waiting for the evening bus.
Making her way home,she chose the longer route that twisted along the foot of the moor. They had a long way to go,but,like the weather,maybe the outlook was promising.
“……预计周末阳光明媚,并伴有徐徐南风。尽情享受吧!”
电视机里传来气象员愉悦的播报声,这台电视放在一堆书上,摇摇欲坠,这样放是因为唯有如此她才能将电视 插销接到插座上。如同电视机一样,她内心也维持着一种微妙的平衡:在外人看来,她似乎平静而镇定;可她 自身却感到极其脆弱。她想方设法来适应,培养了一些新习惯,对那些引发伤感回忆的地方坚决避而不去。
可是,在这小镇里有些地方是回避不了的——比如她每次打开前门都会看到的高处的沼泽地。过去的多年里,她和迈克总会花很多时间在高沼地上散步,享受彼此的陪伴,见证了季节变化。夏末总是忙碌的,他们总要赶 着去采摘果实,为制作果酱作准备。
天气预报帮玛吉下了决心。尽管心中仍有顾虑,但在夏末阳光的照耀下,高沼地的诱惑太大了。是时候该驱走 内心的恶魔,而采摘浆果可以帮她重拾自己。
星期六的早晨明亮而清新。玛吉开着车,沿着熟悉的小路一直行驶到山脚的停车场。然而通向山顶的路似乎更 长、更陡。最终树林总算显现出一条小道,笔直向前,直至消失在阳光中。路的两边,黑莓攀附在石南花和金 雀花之上,挂满了串串果实,果子已经熟透,就待采摘了;满眼的黑色和绿色,紫色和黄色,编织成一片缤纷 色彩。
高沼地似乎在欢迎她的归来,如同她是一位久未谋面的老朋友。她的情绪也高涨起来。深吸了一口新鲜空气,玛吉熟练地从口袋里掏出一个袋子,开始采摘,她时不时停下来欣赏一下这熟悉的景致。
过了一会儿,一个孤单的身影出现在她身后的小道上,时而驻足,时而弯腰,可是又总能快速跟上来。
“这些你想要吗?”
这个声音吓了她一跳,虽然声音比原来的更加轻柔,但她绝不会弄错。当她猛地站起来,她几乎都没感到树莓 勒疼了她的手。
“你在这里究竟想干吗?”
“我估摸着在9月的第一个周末,我能在这儿找到你。你想要这些吗?”他握着满满一手浆果,把它们倒入了她 的袋子里。“多美好的一天啊……这儿有越桔吗?”
在她内心已是怒火中烧的情况下,他是怎么做到如此淡定,如此轻松?由于他破坏了她完美的一天,她想激怒 他,但从嘴里溜出的话却不是她脑中所想的。
“我……我还没找呢。”玛吉转过身,思绪如脱缰野马,内心的平静支离破碎。她想逃回车里寻求安全感。她 沿着小路缓慢前行,不时采摘着一些浆果,但兴致已然全无。
最后,他们来到了高沼地中小路的交汇处。她在一张长椅的一端坐了下来,向前伸直了双腿。迈克也在相隔不 远的地方坐了下来,与她一样,盯着下面那阡陌交错的田野。她已记不清他们曾多少次来这里共享野餐了。而 此刻与他咫尺相近更加使她烦躁不安,他为什么就不能坐到别的地方去呢?
“你一个人过吗?”多么愚蠢的问题。话已出口,想能再修饰一下或想想再说已于事无补。不过,这正是她一 直想问的问题,而且似乎用再多的言语来给它裹层美丽外衣也毫无意义。
“是的。”他的眼睛一直盯着田野。玛吉没有说话,等着他说下去。“没到开春。她就另找他人了。”
那天,玛吉第一次转过来正视她的丈夫。他的眼睛更加深陷了,头发更加灰白了,脸上的皱纹更多了,表情也 更加倦怠了。一张悲怆的面庞。内心深处某个角落滋生了想拉近他的冲动,好告诉他一切都会好起来,使那双 眼眸再次充满喜悦。但是,他造成的伤痛不是一个拥抱就可以消除的,她又转过了脸。
过了一会儿,她站了起来。尽管阳光明媚,空气中还是游弋着一丝寒意。他拿过袋子,然后他们便默然前行。玛吉想知道他在想些什么,是否他的思绪也跟她的一样是一团糟?
“走之前,有空喝杯茶吗?”她希望这在他听来更像是一句问话而不是一个命令。
“有烤饼和黑莓酱吗?”
玛吉笑了,从听到他的声音开始,这是她第一次感到放松。
“烤饼可没有,但有一些新鲜的面包,也是不错的。”
喝过茶之后,她开车送他到了公交车站。从车中走出来后,他转过身,“你下礼拜出去吗?”
“可能吧,如果天气还这样持续下去。”
他微微点了一下头,然后加入等候晚班车的人群之列。
回家途中,她选择了一条绕远的路线,一条在高沼地底部边缘蜿蜒前行的道路。他们还有一段漫长的路要走,但是,就像天气一样,前景也许是充满希望的。
socket
【释义】n. 插座;窝,穴;牙槽 vt. 给……配插座
collected
【释义】v. 收集;聚集(collect的过去式) adj. 镇定的;收集成的
【短语】collect up 收集
misgiving
【释义】 n. 担忧;疑虑;不安 v. 担忧;使……疑虑;害怕
【短语】dispel misgivings 消除忧虑
heather
【释义】n. 石南属植物 adj. 杂色的;似石南的
gorse
【释义】n. 金雀花;荆豆
riot
【释义】n. 暴乱;放纵;蔓延
【短语】stdudent roit 学潮
deftly
【释义】adv. 熟练地;灵巧地;敏捷地
【短语】Deftly Handed 熟练;answer deftly 巧妙地回答
startle
【释义】n. 惊愕;惊恐 vt. 使吓一跳;使惊奇 vi. 惊吓;惊跳;惊奇
【短语】startle response 吃惊反应
expression
【释义】n. 表现;表情,脸色,态度,声调
jumble
【释义】n. 混乱;杂乱的一堆东西 vi. 混杂;掺杂 vt. 使混乱;搞乱
【短语】jumble sale 杂物拍卖,慈善义卖;jumble stop 杂货店