“My dearest Lizzy will,I am sure,be incapable of triumphing in her better judgement, at my expense, when I confess myself to have been entirely deceived in Miss Bingley's regard for me. But, my dear sister, though the event has proved you right, do not think me obstinate if I still assert that,considering what her behaviour was,my confidence was as natural as your suspicion.I do not at all comprehend her reason for wishing to be intimate with me;but if the same circumstances were to happen again,I am sure I should be deceived again.Caroline did not return my visit till yesterday;and not a note,not a line,did I receive in the meantime.When she did come,it was very evident that she had no pleasure in it;she made a slight,formal apology,for not calling before, said not a word of wishing to see me again, and was in every respect so altered a creature,that when she went away I was perfectly resolved to continue the acquaintance no longer.I pity, though I cannot help blaming her.She was very wrong in singling me out as she did;I can safely say that every advance to intimacy began on her side.But I pity her,because she must feel that she has been acting wrong,and because I am very sure that anxiety for her brother is the cause of it. I need not explain myself farther;and though we know this anxiety to be quite needless,yet if she feels it,it will easily account for her behaviour to me;and so deservedly dear as he is to his sister,whatever anxiety she must feel on his behalf is natural and amiable. I cannot but wonder, however,at her having any such fears now,because,if he had at all cared about me,we must have met long,long ago.He knows of my being in town,I am certain,from something she said herself;and yet it would seem,by her manner of talking,as if she wanted to persuade herself that he is really partial to Miss Darcy.I cannot understand it. If I were not afraid of judging harshly, I should be almost tempted to say that there is a strong appearance of duplicity in all this.But I will endeavour to banish every painful thought, and think only of what will make me happy—your affection,and the invariable kindness of my dear uncle and aunt. Let me hear from you very soon.Miss Bingley said something of his never returning to Netherfield again,of giving up the house, but not with any certainty.We had better not mention it.I am extremely glad that you have such pleasant accounts from our friends at Hunsford. Pray go to see them, with Sir William and Maria.I am sure you will be very comfortable there.
“Yours,etc.”
This letter gave Elizabeth some pain;but her spirits returned as she considered that Jane would no longer be duped,by the sister at least.All expectation from the brother was now absolutely over. She would not even wish for a renewal of his attentions. His character sunk on every review of it;and as a punishment for him,as well as a possible advantage to Jane,she seriously hoped he might really soon marry Mr. Darcy's sister, as by Wickham's account, she would make him abundantly regret what he had thrown away.
Mrs. Gardiner about this time reminded Elizabeth of her promise concerning that gentleman, and required information;and Elizabeth had such to send as might rather give contentment to her aunt than to herself.His apparent partiality had subsided, his attentions were over, he was the admirer of some one else. Elizabeth was watchful enough to see it all,but she could see it and write of it without material pain. Her heart had been but slightly touched,and her vanity was satisfied with believing that she would have been his only choice, had fortune permitted it. The sudden acquisition of ten thousand pounds was the most remarkable charm of the young lady to whom he was now rendering himself agreeable; but Elizabeth, less clear-sighted perhaps in this case than in Charlotte's,did not quarrel with him for his wish of independence.Nothing,on the contrary,could be more natural; and while able to suppose that it cost him a few struggles to relinquish her, she was ready to allow it a wise and desirable measure for both, and could very sincerely wish him happy.
All this was acknowledged to Mrs.Gardiner;and after relating the circumstances, she thus went on:“I am now convinced, my dear aunt,that I have never been much in love;for had I really experienced that pure and elevating passion,I should at present detest his very name, and wish him all manner of evil. But my feelings are not only cordial towards him;they are even impartial towards Miss King. I cannot find out that I hate her at all, or that I am in the least unwilling to think her a very good sort of girl.There can be no love in all this.My watchfulness has been effectual; and though I certainly should be a more interesting object to all my acquaintances were I distractedly in love with him, I cannot say that I regret my comparative insignificance. Importance may sometimes be purchased too dearly. Kitty and Lydia take his defection much more to heart than I do.They are young in the ways of the world, and not yet open to the mortifying conviction that handsome young men must have something to live on as well as the plain.”
