登陆注册
15692700000021

第21章

You can't breathe dead hippo waking, sleeping, and eating, and at the same time keep your precarious grip on existence. Besides that, they had given them every week three pieces of brass wire, each about nine inches long; and the theory was they were to buy their pro-visions with that currency in river-side villages. You can see how THAT worked. There were either no villages, or the people were hostile, or the director, who like the rest of us fed out of tins, with an occasional old he-goat thrown in, didn't want to stop the steamer for some more or less recondite reason. So, unless they swallowed the wire itself, or made loops of it to snare the fishes with, I don't see what good their extravagant salary could be to them. I must say it was paid with a regularity worthy of a large and honorable trading company. For the rest, the only thing to eat--though it didn't look eat-able in the least--I saw in their possession was a few lumps of some stuff like half-cooked dough, of a dirty lavender color, they kept wrapped in leaves, and now and then swallowed a piece of, but so small that it seemed done more for the looks of the thing than for any seri-ous purpose of sustenance. Why in the name of all the gnawing devils of hunger they didn't go for us--they were thirty to five--and have a good tuck in for once, amazes me now when I think of it. They were big powerful men, with not much capacity to weigh the con-sequences, with courage, with strength, even yet, though their skins were no longer glossy and their muscles no longer hard. And I saw that something restraining, one of those human secrets that baffle probability, had come into play there. I looked at them with a swift quicken-ing of interest--not because it occurred to me I might be eaten by them before very long, though I own to you that just then I perceived--in a new light, as it were--how unwholesome the pilgrims looked, and I hoped, yes, I positively hoped, that my aspect was not so--what shall I say?--so--unappetizing: a touch of fantastic vanity which fitted well with the dream-sensation that pervaded all my days at that time. Perhaps I had a little fever too. One can't live with one's finger everlastingly on one's pulse. I had often 'a little fever,' or a little touch of other things--the playful paw-strokes of the wilder-ness, the preliminary trifling before the more serious onslaught which came in due course. Yes; I looked at them as you would on any human being, with a curiosity of their impulses, motives, capacities, weaknesses, when brought to the test of an inexorable physical necessity.

Restraint! What possible restraint? Was it supersti-tion, disgust, patience, fear--or some kind of primitive honor? No fear can stand up to hunger, no patience can wear it out, disgust simply does not exist where hunger is; and as to superstition, beliefs, and what you may call principles, they are less than chaff in a breeze.

Don't you know the devilry of lingering starvation, its exasperating torment, its black thoughts, its somber and brooding ferocity? Well, I do. It takes a man all his inborn strength to fight hunger properly. It's really easier to face bereavement, dishonor, and the perdition of one's soul--than this kind of prolonged hunger. Sad, but true. And these chaps too had no earthly reason for any kind of scruple. Restraint! I would just as soon have expected restraint from a hyena prowling amongst the corpses of a battlefield. But there was the fact facing me--the fact dazzling, to be seen, like the foam on the depths of the sea, like a ripple on an un-fathomable enigma, a mystery greater--when I thought of it--than the curious, inexplicable note of desperate grief in this savage clamor that had swept by us on the river-bank, behind the blind whiteness of the fog.

"Two pilgrims were quarreling in hurried whispers as to which bank. 'Left.' 'No, no; how can you?

Right, right, of course.' 'It is very serious,' said the manager's voice behind me; 'I would be desolated if anything should happen to Mr. Kurtz before we came up.' I looked at him, and had not the slightest doubt he was sincere. He was just the kind of man who would wish to preserve appearances. That was his restraint.

But when he muttered something about going on at once, I did not even take the trouble to answer him. I knew, and he knew, that it was impossible. Were we to let go our hold of the bottom, we would be absolutely in the air--in space. We wouldn't be able to tell where we were going to--whether up or down stream, or across --till we fetched against one bank or the other,--and then we wouldn't know at first which it was. Of course I made no move. I had no mind for a smash-up. You couldn't imagine a more deadly place for a shipwreck.

Whether drowned at once or not, we were sure to perish speedily in one way or another. 'I authorize you to take all the risks,' he said, after a short silence. 'I refuse to take any,' I said shortly; which was just the answer he expected, though its tone might have surprised him.

'Well, I must defer to your judgment. You are cap-tain,' he said, with marked civility. I turned my shoul-der to him in sign of my appreciation, and looked into the fog. How long would it last? It was the most hope-less look-out. The approach to this Kurtz grubbing for ivory in the wretched bush was beset by as many dangers as though he had been an enchanted princess sleeping in a fabulous castle. 'Will they attack, do you think?' asked the manager, in a confidential tone.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 一丝领悟

    一丝领悟

    感受一个超能力班级的生活,他们的成长,他们的历练,他们的感情。每一件事情的共同努力,协力合作,促成了这个神奇的班级,这个永远1405.
  • 福妻驾到

    福妻驾到

    现代饭店彪悍老板娘魂穿古代。不分是非的极品婆婆?三年未归生死不明的丈夫?心狠手辣的阴毒亲戚?贪婪而好色的地主老财?吃上顿没下顿的贫困宭境?不怕不怕,神仙相助,一技在手,天下我有!且看现代张悦娘,如何身带福气玩转古代,开面馆、收小弟、左纳财富,右傍美男,共绘幸福生活大好蓝图!!!!快本新书《天媒地聘》已经上架开始销售,只要3.99元即可将整本书抱回家,你还等什么哪,赶紧点击下面的直通车,享受乐乐精心为您准备的美食盛宴吧!)
  • 凤倾九霄,萌主来袭

    凤倾九霄,萌主来袭

    独步天下,唯我独尊!二十一世纪心理学界女王凤嘉瑶吃东西时莫名其妙的眼前一黑,莫名其妙的穿越到一个女尊国闲散摄政王身上。不过没关系,且看本王在这个陌生的时代戏美男,训王夫,翻手为云,覆手为雨,打造一个前无古人、后无来者的女王大人!
  • 校草的期限恋人

    校草的期限恋人

    一次偶然的相遇,一场突如其来的告白。“做我女朋友吧!期限一个月。”她是每天担惊受怕过着日子的豪门千金,而他,却是高高在上无忧无虑的豪门贵公子。生命中仅仅只是遇见了一个他,便让她的未来充满了前所未有的光明。她记得他曾对她说过“遇见你,何其有幸?”但其实,遇见他才是她今生最大的幸运。命运让她在最美的年纪遇见了他,而他,是她青春中最后的一场华丽!
  • 定制爱的魔法诺言

    定制爱的魔法诺言

    爱情什么的是不是都是浮云?你有没有那么一次和自己心爱的人分手?然后用了很长的时间才忘了那个Ta,时间是最好的疗伤药,一起和她去体验一下吧,那种痛是怎么样的......
  • 华武剑鸣

    华武剑鸣

    他是众人仰望的武仙,却为何散尽修为。他是气运使然的天命之子,却为何要逆天而行。他只想授业一生却被命运之手推上争霸之路。时来运转,如何重回巅峰,柳暗花明,怎样拯救苍生。但闻剑鸣声声似秋雨,莫非天公流泪!
  • 甜心公主的黑色复仇恋爱季

    甜心公主的黑色复仇恋爱季

    年幼的公主,因为皇室的决定,放下尊贵的身份来到中国。前方是未知的。路途是遥远的。家族的破灭,竹马的背叛,她看透了什么?华丽归来,一心报仇,她是无人能敌的复仇者,也是不为人知的寻觅者。
  • 蜗租

    蜗租

    刚刚大学毕业的刘磊、赵涵等人蜗租在北京小月河的公寓里。由于收入不高,且生活成本巨大,众人一直徘徊在生存线的边缘,心酸之事颇多:刘磊与邓佳佳相爱,却因为母亲病重,最终选择了老板的女儿陈可可;赵涵的冲动和急功近利,让他陷入了传销组织,几经波折才成功逃脱;张文亮希望成为歌手却屡屡受挫,终于在歌唱道?上迈出了成功的第一步……几个主人公在蜗租的过程中完成了各自的蜕变,最终由希望驱使着走向生命应有的航道。樊中恺编著的《蜗租》还原大学毕业生的真实生活!《蜗租》击碎天之骄子的光圈,看看背后的那些故事。【尊敬的书友,本书选载最精华部分供您阅读。想要阅读更多内容,请购买正版实体书】
  • 释迦文尼佛金刚一乘修行仪轨法品一卷

    释迦文尼佛金刚一乘修行仪轨法品一卷

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 神宠世界

    神宠世界

    小学生彩灵芝因为好奇心,进入了一个不一样的世界,从此他的命运改变了。