"I take it then," he said importantly, "that you do not wish to appear against them?""I don't wish to appear in it at all!" I cried. "You've no right to annoy that young lady. You must wire the police you are mistaken.""I have no desire to arrest the woman," said Kinney stiffly. "In my message I did not mention HER. If you want an adventure of your own, you might help her to escape while I arrest her accomplices.""I object," I cried, "to your applying the word 'accomplice' to that young lady. And suppose they ARE criminals," I demanded, "how will arresting them help you?"Kinney's eyes flashed with excitement.
"Think of the newspapers," he cried; "they'll be full of it!"Already in imagination he saw the headlines. "'A Clever Haul!'" he quoted. "'Noted band of crooks elude New York police, but are captured by Forbes Kinney.'" He sighed contentedly. "And they'll probably print my picture, too," he added.
I knew I should be angry with him, but instead I could only feel sorry. I have known Kinney for a year, and I have learned that his "make-believe" is always innocent. I suppose that he is what is called a snob, but with him snobbishness is not an unpleasant weakness. In his case it takes the form of thinking that people who have certain things he does not possess are better than himself; and that, therefore, they must be worth knowing, and he tries to make their acquaintance. But he does not think that he himself is better than any one. His life is very bare and narrow.
In consequence, on many things he places false values. As, for example, his desire to see his name in the newspapers even as an amateur detective. So, while I was indignant I also was sorry.
"Joe," I said, "you're going to get yourself into an awful lot of trouble, and though I am not in this adventure, you know if I can help you I will."He thanked me and we went to the dining-saloon. There, at a table near ours, we saw the lovely lady and Stumps and the American. She again smiled at me, but this time, so it seemed, a little doubtfully.
In the mind of the American, on the contrary, there was no doubt.
He glared both at Kinney and myself, as though he would like to boil us in oil.
After dinner, in spite of my protests, Kinney set forth to interview him and, as he described it, to "lead him on" to commit himself. I feared Kinney was much more likely to commit himself than the other, and when I saw them seated together I watched from a distance with much anxiety.
An hour later, while I was alone, a steward told me the purser would like to see me. I went to his office, and found gathered there Stumps, his American friend, the night watchman of the boat, and the purser. As though inviting him to speak, the purser nodded to the American. That gentleman addressed me in an excited and belligerent manner.
"My name is Aldrich," he said; "I want to know what YOUR name is?"I did not quite like his tone, nor did I like being summoned to the purser's office to be questioned by a stranger.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because," said Aldrich, "it seems you have SEVERAL names. As one of them belongs to THIS gentleman"--he pointed at Stumps--"he wants to know why you are using it."I looked at Stumps and he greeted me with the vague and genial smile that was habitual to him, but on being caught in the act by Aldrich he hurriedly frowned.
"I have never used any name but my own," I said; "and," I added pleasantly, "if I were choosing a name I wouldn't choose 'Stumps.'"Aldrich fairly gasped.
"His name is not Stumps!" he cried indignantly. "He is the Earl of Ivy!"He evidently expected me to be surprised at this, and I WASsurprised. I stared at the much-advertised young Irishman with interest.
Aldrich misunderstood my silence, and in a triumphant tone, which was far from pleasant, continued: "So you see," he sneered, "when you chose to pass yourself off as Ivy you should have picked out another boat."The thing was too absurd for me to be angry, and I demanded with patience: "But why should I pass myself off as Lord Ivy?""That's what we intend to find out," snapped Aldrich. "Anyway, we've stopped your game for to-night, and to-morrow you can explain to the police! Your pal," he taunted, "has told every one on this boat that you are Lord Ivy, and he's told me lies enough about HIMSELF to prove HE'S an impostor, too!"I saw what had happened, and that if I were to protect poor Kinney I must not, as I felt inclined, use my fists, but my head. Ilaughed with apparent unconcern, and turned to the purser.
"Oh, that's it, is it?" I cried. "I might have known it was Kinney; he's always playing practical jokes on me." I turned to Aldrich. "My friend has been playing a joke on you, too," I said.
"He didn't know who you were, but he saw you were an Anglomaniac, and he's been having fun with you!""Has he?" roared Aldrich. He reached down into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. "This," he cried, shaking it at me, "is a copy of a wireless that I've just sent to the chief of police at New Bedford."With great satisfaction he read it in a loud and threatening voice:
"Two impostors on this boat representing themselves to be Lord Ivy, my future brother-in-law, and his secretary. Lord Ivy himself on board. Send police to meet boat. We will make charges.--Henry Philip Aldrich."It occurred to me that after receiving two such sensational telegrams, and getting out of bed to meet the boat at six in the morning, the chief of police would be in a state of mind to arrest almost anybody, and that his choice would certainly fall on Kinney and myself. It was ridiculous, but it also was likely to prove extremely humiliating. So I said, speaking to Lord Ivy: "There's been a mistake all around; send for Mr. Kinney and I will explain it to you." Lord Ivy, who was looking extremely bored, smiled and nodded, but young Aldrich laughed ironically.
"Mr. Kinney is in his state-room," he said, "with a steward guarding the door and window. You can explain to-morrow to the police."I rounded indignantly upon the purser.
