登陆注册
15446400000002

第2章 Chapter NIGHT ON THE BEACH(2)

His career thenceforth was one of unbroken shame. He did not drink, he was exactly honest, he was never rude to his employers, yet was everywhere discharged. Bringing no interest to his duties, he brought no attention; his day was a tissue of things neglected and things done amiss; and from place to place and from town to town, he carried the character of one thoroughly incompetent. No man can bear the word applied to him without some flush of colour, as indeed there is none other that so emphatically slams in a man's face the door of self-respect. And to Herrick, who was conscious of talents and acquirements, who looked down upon those humble duties in which he was found wanting, the pain was the more exquisite.

Early in his fall, he had ceased to be able to make remittances; shortly after, having nothing but failure to communicate, he ceased writing home; and about a year before this tale begins, turned suddenly upon the streets of San Francisco by a vulgar and infuriated German Jew, he had broken the last bonds of self-respect, and upon a sudden Impulse, changed his name and invested his last dollar in a passage on the mail brigantine, the City of Papeete. With what expectation he had trimmed his flight for the South Seas, Herrick perhaps scarcely knew. Doubtless there were fortunes to be made in pearl and copra; doubtless others not more gifted than himself had climbed in the island world to be queen's consorts and king's ministers. But if Herrick had gone there with any manful purpose, he would have kept his father's name; the alias betrayed his moral bankruptcy; he bad struck his flag; he entertained no hope to reinstate himself or help his straitened family; and he came to the islands (where he knew the climate to be soft, bread cheap, and manners easy) a skulker from life's battle and his own immediate duty. Failure, he had said, was his portion; let it be a pleasant failure.

It is fortunately not enough to say 'I will be base.' Herrick continued in the islands his career of failure; but in the new scene and under the new name, he suffered no less sharply than before. A place was got, it was lost in the old style; from the long-suffering of the keepers of restaurants he fell to more open charity upon the wayside; as time went on, good nature became weary, and after a repulse or two, Herrick became shy. There were women enough who would have supported a far worse and a far uglier man; Herrick never met or never knew them: or if he did both, some manlier feeling would revolt, and he preferred starvation. Drenched with rains, broiling by day, shivering by night, a disused and ruinous prison for a bedroom, his diet begged or pilfered out of rubbish heaps, his associates two creatures equally outcast with himself, he had drained for months the cup of penitence. He had known what it was to be resigned, what it was to break forth in a childish fury of rebellion against fate, and what it was to sink into the coma of despair. The time had changed him. He told himself no longer tales of an easy and perhaps agreeable declension; he read his nature otherwise; he had proved himself incapable of rising, and he now learned by experience that he could not stoop to fall.

Something that was scarcely pride or strength, that was perhaps only refinement, withheld him from capitulation; but he looked on upon his own misfortune with a growing rage, and sometimes wondered at his patience.

It was now the fourth month completed, and still there was no change or sign of change. The moon, racing through a world of flying clouds of every size and shape and density, some black as ink stains, some delicate as lawn, threw the marvel of her Southern brightness over the same lovely and detested scene: the island mountains crowned with the perennial island cloud, the embowered city studded with rare lamps, the masts in the harbour, the smooth mirror of the lagoon, and the mole of the barrier reef on which the breakers whitened. The moon shone too, with bull's-eye sweeps, on his companions; on the stalwart frame of the American who called himself Brown, and was known to be a master mariner in some disgrace; and on the dwarfish person, the pale eyes and toothless smile of a vulgar and bad-hearted cockney clerk. Here was society for Robert Herrick! The Yankee skipper was a man at least: he had sterling qualities of tenderness and resolution; he was one whose hand you could take without a blush. But there was no redeeming grace about the other, who called himself sometimes Hay and sometimes Tomkins, and laughed at the discrepancy; who had been employed in every store in Papeete, for the creature was able in his way; who had been discharged from each in turn, for he was wholly vile; who had alienated all his old employers so that they passed him in the street as if he were a dog, and all his old comrades so that they shunned him as they would a creditor.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 我除了放手还能选择什么

    我除了放手还能选择什么

    谈不上青梅竹马,轮不上郎才女貌,但她独爱他,为了他放弃一切,可他却背叛了他们的誓言,为了一个做作的女生放弃了落落大方的她,她不甘就这样,更加的努力只为有一天能与他并肩,似乎她忘记了,自己比他要优秀要更好,渐渐地他们越来越远,她拒绝了所有人的追求,只是为了等他一人,她傻傻的相信,坚持就会获得他的心,但她忘记了那个人不爱她,她自己掏心掏肺最后却还是被人嫌弃,为了他她杜绝爱情,改变自己的人生观,甚至不惜与与父母闹掰,好友多次劝说,她却依旧不为其动,她使自己变得坚强,却遗忘了所有人的感受,她戴上了面具,习惯了冷漠。既不想让别人看到她的伤,也不想被他看不起......
  • 你好,我的先生

    你好,我的先生

    某女意外碰见外星来客,本以为可以搜刮“油水”,不料却反为奴为仆。他长长的睫毛像扇面一样,在阳光下似渡了一层金影。面色苍白,鲜血从嘴角溢出,显得格外刺眼。……“你哭什么?”他不解的看着她不断用纸巾擦眼角,眼睛水汪汪的,上颊也被擦的红红的。“先生,如果给你的爱一个期限,你希望是一万年吗?”“不希望。”我对你的爱,没有期限。--情节虚构,请勿模仿
  • 废土尸王

    废土尸王

    本书各种打脸撕逼不服就揍型,主打末世升级证道!另外,2D!3D!Imax!啊这些都没有……重磅推荐《无限主播》http://www.*****.com/?Book/1003732245.aspx
  • 原来你就身边:方少好久不见

    原来你就身边:方少好久不见

    快叫一声向航哥哥。我带你去买棒棒糖。”“我现在已经不是两根棒棒糖就能骗到手的年纪了。向航学长”慕天晴幽幽的给方向航一记白眼,心里想的是不愧是慕天阳的死党“那哥哥也不小气,给你买三根”那个时候的慕天阳慕天晴还是“亲兄妹”慕天阳和方向航还是好兄弟,为什么时间不能就停留在这一刻,我想用力抓住想回到从前却不能够。所有的一切只因那一纸契约开始改变“方向航,我们谈判把,你要怎么才能放过我哥哥”方向航一步一步的靠近,周遭的气压一点点降低。慕天晴感觉自己今天来是一个错误的决定,但是她无从选择“放松,我的天晴妹妹。这个可不是谈判的态度”慕天晴在含氧79%的空气中感觉自己要窒息了
  • 古剑封仙

    古剑封仙

    修炼之道为绝极目标而修行,长生之道,虽不能得以窥视,但一本仙侠录中却记载神秘的仙之道。
  • 我和我的黑桃皇后

    我和我的黑桃皇后

    本文灵感来源:俄罗斯文学巨匠亚历山大·谢尔盖耶维奇·普希金所著短篇小说《黑桃皇后》;电脑上的单机游戏《红心大战》。黑桃皇后,一张能够置人于死地的牌。黑桃皇后,玩家最不愿意拿到手的牌。被人厌弃的、孤独的黑桃皇后,不知道有怎样的心情。我只想和我的黑桃皇后在一起。尽管我心中知道,这是不可能的事。
  • 星武苍穹

    星武苍穹

    齐浩被废,意外获得仓颉神书以及可以吸收他人星之气的神秘石珠,再入修炼之道,武碎星辰,纵横星际,看他如何演绎属于自己的星际神话!
  • 都市之神座

    都市之神座

    当懵懂少年被选中成为强力机构一员,踏入这个神奇世界的时候,他一定没有想到日后自己会成长到这个程度。空置千年的神座在时隔数千年后终于再一次迎来它的主人——神登基之时,万界臣服。这是热血的篇章,是现代都市中隐藏的神话传奇,当然少不了的还有各色各样的……女人。
  • 千叶物语

    千叶物语

    爱,需要的不是经验。恋,需要的不是年轻。
  • 这次爱得糊涂

    这次爱得糊涂

    也许多年后当他们两个彼此回想起的时候才会明白其实有些感情虽然只是另一段感情的延续,却也可以来的这样自然,让他们彼此爱得这样得糊里糊涂,但也深刻。一句“我爱你”是最甜蜜的迟到问候。