And as I uttered these latter words the stranger touched rapidly something which lay near him-I forget what it was.It was the first action of the kind which I had observed on his part since we sat down to table.
'You allude to the evil chance,'said I;'but it is getting both dark and late.'
'I believe we are going to have a storm,'said my friend,'but I really hope that you will give me your company for a day or two;Ihave,as I said before,much to talk to you about.'
'Well,'said I,'I shall be most happy to be your guest for this night;I am ignorant of the country,and it is not pleasant to travel unknown paths by night-dear me,what a flash of lightning.'
It had become very dark;suddenly a blaze of sheet lightning illumed the room.By the momentary light I distinctly saw my host touch another object upon the table.
'Will you allow me to ask you a question or two?'said he at last.
'As many as you please,'said I;'but shall we not have lights?'
'Not unless you particularly wish it,'said my entertainer;'I rather like the dark,and though a storm is evidently at hand,neither thunder nor lightning has any terrors for me.It is other things I quake at-I should rather say ideas.Now permit me to ask you-'
And then my entertainer asked me various questions,to all of which I answered unreservedly;he was then silent for some time,at last he exclaimed,'I should wish to tell you the history of my life-though not an adventurous one,I think it contains some things which will interest you.'
Without waiting for my reply he began.Amidst darkness and gloom,occasionally broken by flashes of lightning,the stranger related to me,as we sat at table in the library,his truly touching history.
'Before proceeding to relate the events of my life,it will not be amiss to give you some account of my ancestors.My great-grandfather on the male side was a silk mercer,in Cheapside,who,when he died,left his son,who was his only child,a fortune of one hundred thousand pounds and a splendid business;the son,however,had no inclination for trade,the summit of his ambition was to be a country gentleman,to found a family,and to pass the remainder of his days in rural ease and dignity,and all this he managed to accomplish;he disposed of his business,purchased a beautiful and extensive estate for fourscore thousand pounds,built upon it the mansion to which I had the honour of welcoming you to-day,married the daughter of a neighbouring squire,who brought him a fortune of five thousand pounds,became a magistrate,and only wanted a son and heir to make him completely happy;this blessing,it is true,was for a long time denied him;it came,however,at last,as is usual,when least expected.His lady was brought to bed of my father,and then who so happy a man as my grandsire;he gave away two thousand pounds in charities,and in the joy of his heart made a speech at the next quarter sessions;the rest of his life was spent in ease,tranquillity,and rural dignity;he died of apoplexy on the day that my father came of age;perhaps it would be difficult to mention a man who in all respects was so fortunate as my grandfather:his death was sudden it is true,but I am not one of those who pray to be delivered from a sudden death.
'I should not call my father a fortunate man;it is true that he had the advantage of a first-rate education;that he made the grand tour with a private tutor,as was the fashion at that time;that he came to a splendid fortune on the very day that he came of age;that for many years he tasted all the diversions of the capital that,at last determined to settle,he married the sister of a baronet,an amiable and accomplished lady,with a large fortune;that he had the best stud of hunters in the county,on which,during the season,he followed the fox gallantly;had he been a fortunate man he would never have cursed his fate,as he was frequently known to do;ten months after his marriage his horse fell upon him,and so injured him,that he expired in a few days in great agony.My grandfather was,indeed,a fortunate man;when he died he was followed to the grave by the tears of the poor-my father was not.
'Two remarkable circumstances are connected with my birth-I am a posthumous child,and came into the world some weeks before the usual time,the shock which my mother experienced at my father's death having brought on the pangs of premature labour;both my mother's life and my own were at first despaired of;we both,however,survived the crisis.My mother loved me with the most passionate fondness,and I was brought up in this house under her own eye-I was never sent to school.
'I have already told you that mine is not a tale of adventure;my life has not been one of action,but of wild imaginings and strange sensations;I was born with excessive sensibility,and that has been my bane.I have not been a fortunate man.
'No one is fortunate unless he is happy,and it is impossible for a being constructed like myself to be happy for an hour,or even enjoy peace and tranquillity;most of our pleasures and pains are the effects of imagination,and wherever the sensibility is great,the imagination is great also.No sooner has my imagination raised up an image of pleasure,than it is sure to conjure up one of distress and gloom;these two antagonist ideas instantly commence a struggle in my mind,and the gloomy one generally,I may say invariably,prevails.How is it possible that I should be a happy man?
'It has invariably been so with me from the earliest period that Ican remember;the first playthings that were given me caused me for a few minutes excessive pleasure:they were pretty and glittering;presently,however,I became anxious and perplexed,I wished to know their history,how they were made,and what of-were the materials precious?I was not satisfied with their outward appearance.In less than an hour I had broken the playthings in an attempt to discover what they were made of.
