By nature I didn't last very long with my masters.And it was that way with this one,too,although I wasn't to blame.So there I was,miserable,all alone,and in despair;and with the clothes I was wearing everyone scoffed and made fun of me.Some people said to me,"That's not a bad little hat you have,with its back door.It looks like an old Dutch lady's bonnet."
Others said,"Your rags are certainly stylish.They look like a pigsty:so many other fat little ones are in there with you that you could kill and salt them and send them home to your wife."
One of the soldiers--a packhandler--said to me,"Mr.Lazarillo,I'll swear to God your stockings really show off your legs.And your sandals look like the kind the barefoot friars wear."
A constable replied,'That's because this gentleman is going to preach to the Moors."
They kept teasing and taunting me so much that I was nearly ready to go back home.But I didn't because I thought it would be a poor war if I couldn't get more than I would lose.What hurt me most was that everyone avoided me like the plague.We embarked at Cartagena:the ship was large and well stocked.They unfurled the sails,and a wind caught them and sent the ship skimming along at a good clip.The land disappeared from sight,and a cross wind lashed the sea and sent waves hurling up to the clouds.As the storm increased,we began losing hope;the captain and crew gave us up for lost.Everyone was weeping and wailing so much I thought we were at a sermon during Holy Week.With all the clamor no one could hear any of the orders that were given.Some people were running to one place,others to another:it was as noisy and chaotic as a blacksmith's shop.Everyone was saying confession to whoever they could.There was even one man who confessed to a prostitute,and she absolved him so well you would have thought she had been doing it for a hundred years.
Churning water makes good fishing,they say.So when I saw how busy everyone was,I said to myself:If I die,let it be with my belly full.I wandered down to the bottom of the ship,and there I found huge quantities of bread,wine,meat pies,and preserves,with no one paying any attention to them.I began to eat everything and to fill my stomach so it would be stocked up to last me till judgment day.A soldier came up and asked me to give him confession.He was astonished to see how cheerful I was and what a good appetite I had,and he asked how I could eat when death was so near.I told him I was doing it so that all the sea water I would drink when I drowned wouldn't make me sick.My simplicity made him shake with laughter from head to foot.I confessed a number of people who didn't utter a word with the agony they were in,and I didn't listen to them because I was too busy eating.
