``Unless I had an intense personal interest in the most active kind of life in a place like this, I should either fly or take to drink,'' replied he.``In this world you've either got to invent occupation for yourself or else keep where amusements and distractions are thrust at you from rising till bed-time.And no amusements are thrust at you in Remsen City.''
``But I've been trying the life of being amused,'' said Jane, ``and I've got enough.''
``For the moment,'' said Victor, laughing.``You'll go back.
You've got to.What else is there for you?''
Her eyes abruptly became serious.``That's what I've come home to find out,'' said she.Hesitatingly, ``That's why I've come here to-day.''
He became curiously quiet--stared at the writing before him on the table.After a while he said:
``Jane, I was entirely too glad to see you to-day.I had----''
``Don't say that,'' she pleaded.``Victor, it isn't a weakness----''
His hand resting upon the table clenched into a fist and his brows drew down.``There can be no question but that it is a weakness and a folly,'' he pushed on.``I will not spoil your life and mine.You are not for me, and I am not for you.The reason we hang on to this is because each of us has a streak of tenacity.We don't want each other, but we are so made that we can't let go of an idea once it has gotten into our heads.''
``There is another reason,'' she said gently.``We are, both of us, alone--and lonesome, Victor.''
``But I'm not alone.I'm not lonesome----'' And there he abruptly halted, to gaze at her with the expression of awakening and astonishment.``I believe I'm wrong.I believe you're right,'' he exclaimed.``I had never thought of that before.''
``You've been imagining your work, your cause was enough,'' she went on in a quiet rational way that was a revelation--and a self-revelation--of the real Jane Hastings.``But it isn't.
There's a whole other side of your nature--the--the--the private side--that's the expression--the private side.And you've been denying to it its rights.''
He reflected, nodded slowly.``I believe that's the truth,'' he said.``It explains a curious feeling I've had --a sort of shriveling sensation.'' He gazed thoughtfully at her, his face gradually relaxing into a merry smile.
``What is it?'' asked she, smiling in turn.
``We've both got to fall in love and marry,'' said he.``Not with each other, of course--for we're not in any way mated.But love and marriage and the rest of it-- that's the solution.Idon't need it quite as much as you do, for I've got my work.But I need it.Now that I see things in the right light I wonder that I've been so stupidly blind.Why do we human beings always overlook the obvious?''
``It isn't easy to marry,'' said Jane, rather drearily.``It isn't easy to find some one with whom one would be willing to pass one's life.I've had several chances-- one or two of them not entirely mercenary, I think.But not one that I could bring myself to accept.''
``Vanity--vanity,'' said Victor.``Almost any human being is interesting and attractive if one will stop thinking about oneself and concentrate on him or her.''
She smiled.``It's evident you've never tried to fall in love.''
``The nearest I ever came to it was with you,'' replied he.
``But that was, of course, out of the question.''
``I don't admit that,'' said she, with an amusing kind of timid obstinacy.
``Let's be honest and natural with each other,'' urged he.
``Now, Jane, admit that in your heart of hearts you feel you ought not to marry me.''
Her glance avoided his.
``Come--own up!'' cried he.
``I have thought of that side of it,'' she conceded.
``And if I hadn't piqued you by thinking of it, too, you'd never have lingered on any other side of it,'' said he.``Well! Now that we've cleared the ground-- there's Davy.He's to be nominated by the Republicans for Governor next week.''
``Davy? I had almost forgotten him.I'll think of Davy--and let you know...And you? Who is there for you?''
``Oh--no one you know.My sister has recommended several girls from time to time.I'll see.''
Jane gave the freest and heartiest laugh that had passed her lips in more than a year.It was thus free and unrestrained because he had not said what she was fearing he would say--had not suggested the woman nearest him, the obvious woman.So eager was she to discover what he thought of Selma, that she could hardly restrain herself from suggesting her.Before they could say anything more, two men came to talk with him.Jane could not but leave.
She dined that night at Mrs.Sherlock's--Mrs.Sherlock was Davy's oldest sister.Davy took her in, they talked--about his career--through dinner, and he walked home with her in the moonlight.He was full of his approaching nomination.He had been making what is known as a good record, as mayor.That is, he had struck out boldly at sundry petty abuses practised by a low and comparatively uninfluential class of exploiters of the people.He had been so busy with these showy trifles that there had been no time for the large abuses.True, he had publicly warned the gas company about its poor gas, and the water company about its unwholesome water for the low-lying tenement districts, and the traction company about the fewness and filthiness of its cars.The gas company had talked of putting in improved machinery; the water company had invited estimates on a filtration plant; the traction company had said a vague something about new cars as soon as car manufacturers could make definite promises as to delivery.But nothing had been done--as yet.
