CHAPTER I.Christopher Seeks an Escape A clump of brambles caught at his feet, and, stumbling like a drunken man, he threw himself at full length upon the ground, pressing his forehead on the young, green thorns.A century seemed to have passed since his flight from the poplar spring, and yet the soft afternoon sunshine was still about him and the low murmurs of the thrush still floated from the old apple-tree.
All the violence of his undisciplined nature had rushed into revolt against the surrender which he felt must come, and he was conscious at the instant that he hated only a little less supremely than he loved.In the end the greater passion would triumph over him, he knew; but as he lay there face downward upon the earth the last evil instincts of his revenge battled against the remorse which had driven him from Maria's presence.He saw himself clearly for what he was: he had learned at last to call his sin by its right name; and yet he felt that somewhere in the depths of his being he had not ceased to love the evil that he had done.He hated Fletcher, he told himself, as righteously as ever, but between himself and the face of his enemy a veil had fallen--the old wrong no longer stood out in a blaze of light.Awoman's smile divided him like a drawn sword from his brutal past, and he had lost the reckless courage with which he once might have flung himself upon destruction.
Rising presently, he crossed the meadow and went slowly back to his work in the stables, keeping his thoughts with an effort upon his accustomed tasks.A great weariness for the endless daily round of shall things was upon him, and he felt all at once that the emotion struggling within his heart must burst forth at last and pervade the visible world.He was conscious of an impulse to sing, to laugh, to talk in broken sentences to himself; and any utterance, however slight and meaningless, seemed to relieve in a measure the nervous tension of his thoughts.
In one instant there entered into him a desperate determination to play the traitor--to desert his post and strike out boldly and alone into the world.And with the next breath he saw himself living to old age as he had lived from boyhood--within reach of Maria's hand, meeting her fervent eyes, and yet separated from her by a distance greater than God or man could bridge.With the thought of her he saw again her faint smile which lingered always about her mouth, and his blood stirred at the memory of the kiss which she had neither resisted nor returned.
Cynthia, searching for him a few minutes later, found him leaning idly against the mare's stall, looking down upon a half-finished nest which a house-wren had begun to build upon his currycomb.
"It's a pity to disturb that, Tucker would say," he observed, motioning toward the few wisps of straw on the ledge.
"Oh, she can start it somewhere else," replied Cynthia indifferently."They have sent for you from the store, Christopher--it's something about one of the servants, I believe.
They're always getting into trouble and wanting you to pull them out." The descendants of the old Blake slaves were still spoken of by Cynthia as "the servants," though they had been free men and women for almost thirty years.
Christopher started from his abstraction and turned toward her with a gesture of annoyance.
"Well, I'll have to go down, I suppose," he said."Has mother asked for me to-day?""Only for Jim again--it's always Jim now.I declare, I believe we might all move away and she'd never know the difference so long as he was left.She forgets us entirely sometimes, and fancies that father is alive again.""It's a good thing Jim amuses her, at any rate."An expression of anger drew Cynthia's brows together."Oh, I dare say; but it does seem hard that she should have grown to dislike me after all I've done for her.There are times when she won't let me even come in the room--when she's not herself, you know."Her words were swallowed in a sob, and he stood staring at her in an amazement too sudden to be mixed with pity.
"And you have given up your whole life to her," he exclaimed.
appalled by the injustice of the god of sacrifice.
Cynthia put up one knotted hand and stroked back the thin hair upon her temples."It was all I had to give," she answered, and went out into the yard.
He let her go from him without replying, and before her pathetic figure had reached the house she was blotted entirely from his thoughts, for it was a part of the tragedy of her unselfishness that she had never existed as a distinct personality even in the minds of those who knew and loved her.
When presently he passed through the yard on his way to the store, he saw her taking in the dried clothes from the old lilac-bushes and called back carelessly that he would be home to supper.Then, forgetting her lesser miseries in his own greater one, he fell into his troubled brooding as he swung rapidly along the road.
At the store the usual group of loungers welcomed him, and among them he saw to his surprise the cheerful face of Jim Weatherby, a little clouded by the important news he was evidently seeking to hold back.
"I tried to keep them from sending for you, Christopher," the young man explained."It is no business of yours--that is what Isaid."
