登陆注册
15417500000100

第100章

It was not unexpected entirely.Aunt Juley's health had been bad all the winter.She had had a long series of colds and coughs,and had been too busy to get rid of them.She had scarcely promised her niece "to really take my tiresome chest in hand,"when she caught a chill and developed acute pneumonia.Margaret and Tibby went down to Swanage.

Helen was telegraphed for,and that spring party that after all gathered in that hospitable house had all the pathos of fair memories.On a perfect day,when the sky seemed blue porcelain,and the waves of the discreet little bay beat gentlest of tattoos upon the sand,Margaret hurried up through the rhododendrons,confronted again by the senselessness of Death.One death may explain itself,but it throws no light upon another:the groping inquiry must begin anew.Preachers or scientists may generalize,but we know that no generality is possible about those whom we love;not one heaven awaits them,not even one oblivion.

Aunt Juley,incapable of tragedy,slipped out of life with odd little laughs and apologies for having stopped in it so long.She was very weak;she could not rise to the occasion,or realize the great mystery which all agree must await her;it only seemed to her that she was quite done up--more done up than ever before;that she saw and heard and felt less every moment;and that,unless something changed,she would soon feel nothing.

Her spare strength she devoted to plans:could not Margaret take some steamer expeditions?were mackerel cooked as Tibby liked them?She worried herself about Helen's absence,and also that she could be the cause of Helen's return.The nurses seemed to think such interests quite natural,and perhaps hers was an average approach to the Great Gate.

But Margaret saw Death stripped of any false romance;whatever the idea of Death may contain,the process can be trivial and hideous.

"Important--Margaret dear,take the Lulworth when Helen comes.""Helen won't be able to stop,Aunt Juley.

She has telegraphed that she can only get away just to see you.She must go back to Germany as soon as you are well.""How very odd of Helen!Mr.Wilcox--"

"Yes,dear?"

"Can he spare you?"

Henry wished her to come,and had been very kind.

Yet again Margaret said so.

Mrs.Munt did not die.Quite outside her will,a more dignified power took hold of her and checked her on the downward slope.She returned,without emotion,as fidgety as ever.On the fourth day she was out of danger.

"Margaret--important,"it went on:"I should like you to have some companion to take walks with.Do try Miss Conder.""I have been a little walk with Miss Conder.""But she is not really interesting.If only you had Helen.""I have Tibby,Aunt Juley."

"No,but he has to do his Chinese.Some real companion is what you need.Really,Helen is odd.""Helen is odd,very,"agreed Margaret.

"Not content with going abroad,why does she want to go back there at once?""No doubt she will change her mind when she sees us.She has not the least balance."That was the stock criticism about Helen,but Margaret's voice trembled as she made it.By now she was deeply pained at her sister's behaviour.It may be unbalanced to fly out of England,but to stop away eight months argues that the heart is awry as well as the head.A sick-bed could recall Helen,but she was deaf to more human calls;after a glimpse at her aunt,she would retire into her nebulous life behind some poste restante.She scarcely existed;her letters had become dull and infrequent;she had no wants and no curiosity.

And it was all put down to poor Henry's account!Henry,long pardoned by his wife,was still too infamous to be greeted by his sister-in-law.

It was morbid,and,to her alarm,Margaret fancied that she could trace the growth of morbidity back in Helen's life for nearly four years.

The flight from Oniton;the unbalanced patronage of the Basts;the explosion of grief up on the Downs--all connected with Paul,an insignificant boy whose lips had kissed hers for a fraction of time.Margaret and Mrs.

Wilcox had feared that they might kiss again.Foolishly:the real danger was reaction.Reaction against the Wilcoxes had eaten into her life until she was scarcely sane.At twenty-five she had an idée fixe.What hope was there for her as an old woman?

The more Margaret thought about it the more alarmed she became.For many months she had put the subject away,but it was too big to be slighted now.There was almost a taint of madness.

Were all Helen's actions to be governed by a tiny mishap,such as may happen to any young man or woman?Can human nature be constructed on lines so insignificant?The blundering little encounter at Howards End was vital.It propagated itself where graver intercourse lay barren;it was stronger than sisterly intimacy,stronger than reason or books.

In one of her moods Helen had confessed that she still "enjoyed"it in a certain sense.Paul had faded,but the magic of his caress endured.

And where there is enjoyment of the past there may also be reaction--propagation at both ends.

Well,it is odd and sad that our minds should be such seed-beds,and we without power to choose the seed.But man is an odd,sad creature as yet,intent on pilfering the earth,and heedless of the growths within himself.He cannot be bored about psychology.

He leaves it to the specialist,which is as if he should leave his dinner to be eaten by a steam-engine.He cannot be bothered to digest his own soul.Margaret and Helen have been more patient,and it is suggested that Margaret has succeeded--so far as success is yet possible.She does understand herself,she has some rudimentary control over her own growth.Whether Helen has succeeded one cannot say.

The day that Mrs.Munt rallied Helen's letter arrived.

She had posted it at Munich,and would be in London herself on the morrow.

同类推荐
  • Sky Pilot

    Sky Pilot

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 七国春秋平话

    七国春秋平话

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 串雅内外编

    串雅内外编

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 杨氏家藏方

    杨氏家藏方

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 玄奘三藏法师资传丛书

    玄奘三藏法师资传丛书

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 总裁太霸道

    总裁太霸道

    她是被他用千万价买下的宠物,从此养在他身边他是高高在上,神秘莫测,从不沾染桃色绯闻的帝少,但是偏偏身边就只围绕着她一个转。没貌,没料,自称连智商都没有的平凡普通的她凭什么以千万价被买下,陪在他的身边?他却是说她最特殊!她到底哪点特殊,让他强行介入她的生活,用一千万买断她的人生。从此她被他养着,陪他吃,陪他睡,陪他混,仰望他,服侍他。原以为宠物是混吃等死,就等着他有天会玩腻了,一脚踹开,但是偏偏他却是说要她一辈子,永不放手!他用深情宠溺将她和他捆绑在一起,让她无法逃开。
  • 激斗生命树

    激斗生命树

    生命是什么?生命的意义是什么?生命的真谛又是什么?如果说生命是宇宙的奇迹,那么死亡又是什么?有什么生命为什么又会死亡?生命树的崛起,死亡的到来,是淘汰还是生存?是进化还是回归?叶星辰说:“我要变强,我要变得更强,我要走到生命树的顶端。”这是一个由弱到强的故事。
  • 武炼星魂

    武炼星魂

    【玄幻爽文】绝世人皇林铭为了寻回心中挚爱,毅然离开三十三天进入异空星辰世界,意外得知自己惊天身份,陷入绝死之境,却因死神之力而浴火重生,铸就天劫之体,炼化九天星魂,强势归来,再战巅峰!
  • 夕阳过后

    夕阳过后

    宗门宇宙:罪恶分子的天堂!极端分子的温床!崇尚武力,强调所谓的“强者为尊!”、“武力至上”!强大的修士拥有一切,弱小的平民连最后一块面包都要夺去!当崇尚文明、公正、民主、法制的立宪帝国制宇宙,面临人类历史最黑暗、最自私、最野蛮的宗门宇宙时,历史将走向何方?当来自异宇宙的帝国制科技文明,与宗门宇宙的玄幻文明相撞时,人类的未来将走向何方?这是科技文明与玄幻文明之间的搏杀,帝国制宇宙与宗门制宇宙之间的对决!等待了五万多年的战争,地狱之火将燃烧世间的每一个角落。剑的最终目的是为了带来和平!夕阳过后,是流血的夜,还是黎明之前……
  • 圣源之主

    圣源之主

    种瓜得瓜种豆得豆,但我的天源农场想要什么就种什么!什么?你想要一口仙剑!行,诛仙剑怎么样?哦,你要一条五爪金龙啊!好说好说!咦?你怎么要一个仙女呢?不过倒也不是不可以!靠,你竟然要一件先天至宝。算了,看在你出价这么高的份上,勉为其难给你一把盘古斧吧!有了圣源农场,想要什么种什么!我们的口号就是:打破一切规则,打破一切传统,打破一切束缚!
  • 邻家妖精:妖孽男神经

    邻家妖精:妖孽男神经

    “你撩汉技能为何如此娴熟?”“经验”“经验...”某人略不爽“你知不知道什么叫“压倒”性胜利?”“压倒性胜利?就凭你?”就在某人娇笑的时候,亲身体会了什么叫压倒性胜利......
  • 上古为王

    上古为王

    东大陆,新月帝国,历经千年卧薪尝胆,终于进入了前所未有之盛世,开始向四周邻居展示自己强健的力量……。秦天,一个留级了十二年的中学生,为了不让这里像自己前世那个世界的盛唐,突然一落千丈,也开始制定下了自己的目标——称王!总之,这是一个中学生拯救世界的日常……
  • 现代修仙世界

    现代修仙世界

    正玩着电脑游戏呢,忽然间电脑上出现了数据乱流,甚至整个世界都出现了数据乱流。然后,天地都变了,所有人都被换了记忆,只有洛君还记得之前发生的事情。从一个科技的世界,变成了一个仙神满天飞的世界。
  • 权谋盛世:皇后传

    权谋盛世:皇后传

    一场江湖和宫廷交织的权谋。她是灭门遗孤,为复仇不择手段。,一身红裙大杀四方。他是步步为营的皇子,夹缝求生,却用一拢白衣浣干净她手中鲜血。在最美的年华遇见,却在烽火狼烟的动荡之中。如果我知道我会遇见你,如果我觉得我会这样的喜欢你,那么我一定会对你一见钟情。
  • 福妻驾到

    福妻驾到

    现代饭店彪悍老板娘魂穿古代。不分是非的极品婆婆?三年未归生死不明的丈夫?心狠手辣的阴毒亲戚?贪婪而好色的地主老财?吃上顿没下顿的贫困宭境?不怕不怕,神仙相助,一技在手,天下我有!且看现代张悦娘,如何身带福气玩转古代,开面馆、收小弟、左纳财富,右傍美男,共绘幸福生活大好蓝图!!!!快本新书《天媒地聘》已经上架开始销售,只要3.99元即可将整本书抱回家,你还等什么哪,赶紧点击下面的直通车,享受乐乐精心为您准备的美食盛宴吧!)