You dont mind,Harry,do you?she said anxiously,nestling close to him,and watching his face.
Of course,I dont seriously mind.In reason,a man cannot object to such a trifle.I only thought you hadnt--that was all.
However,one ray was abstracted from the glory about her head.
But afterwards,when Knight was wandering by himself over the bare and breezy hills,and meditating on the subject,that ray suddenly returned.For she might have had a lover,and never have cared in the least for him.She might have used the word improperly,and meant admirerall the time.Of course she had been admired;and one man might have made his admiration more prominent than that of the rest--a very natural case.
They were sitting on one of the garden seats when he found occasion to put the supposition to the test.Did you love that lover or admirer of yours ever so little,Elfie?
She murmured reluctantly,Yes,I think I did.
Knight felt the same faint touch of misery.Only a very little?
he said.
I am not sure how much.
But you are sure,darling,you loved him a little?
I think I am sure I loved him a little.
And not a great deal,Elfie?
My love was not supported by reverence for his powers.
But,Elfride,did you love him deeply?said Knight restlessly.
I dont exactly know how deep you mean by deeply.
Thats nonsense.
You misapprehend;and you have let go my hand!she cried,her eyes filling with tears.Harry,dont be severe with me,and dont question me.I did not love him as I do you.And could it be deeply if I did not think him cleverer than myself?For I did not.You grieve me so much--you cant think.
I will not say another word about it.
And you will not think about it,either,will you?I know you think of weaknesses in me after I am out of your sight;and not knowing what they are,I cannot combat them.I almost wish you were of a grosser nature,Harry;in truth I do!Or rather,I wish I could have the advantages such a nature in you would afford me,and yet have you as you are.
What advantages would they be?
Less anxiety,and more security.Ordinary men are not so delicate in their tastes as you;and where the lover or husband is not fastidious,and refined,and of a deep nature,things seem to go on better,I fancy--as far as I have been able to observe the world.
Yes;I suppose it is right.Shallowness has this advantage,that you cant be drowned there.
But I think Ill have you as you are;yes,I will!she said winsomely.The practical husbands and wives who take things philosophically are very humdrum,are they not?Yes,it would kill me quite.You please me best as you are.
Even though I wish you had never cared for one before me?
Yes.And you must not wish it.Dont!
Ill try not to,Elfride.
So she hoped,but her heart was troubled.If he felt so deeply on this point,what would he say did he know all,and see it as Mrs.
Jethway saw it?He would never make her the happiest girl in the world by taking her to be his own for aye.The thought enclosed her as a tomb whenever it presented itself to her perturbed brain.
She tried to believe that Mrs.Jethway would never do her such a cruel wrong as to increase the bad appearance of her folly by innuendoes;and concluded that concealment,having been begun,must be persisted in,if possible.For what he might consider as bad as the fact,was her previous concealment of it by strategy.
But Elfride knew Mrs.Jethway to be her enemy,and to hate her.
It was possible she would do her worst.And should she do it,all might be over.
Would the woman listen to reason,and be persuaded not to ruin one who had never intentionally harmed her?
It was night in the valley between Endelstow Crags and the shore.
The brook which trickled that way to the sea was distinct in its murmurs now,and over the line of its course there began to hang a white riband of fog.Against the sky,on the left hand of the vale,the black form of the church could be seen.On the other rose hazel-bushes,a few trees,and where these were absent,furze tufts--as tall as men--on stems nearly as stout as timber.The shriek of some bird was occasionally heard,as it flew terror-stricken from its first roost,to seek a new sleeping-place,where it might pass the night unmolested.
In the evening shade,some way down the valley,and under a row of scrubby oaks,a cottage could still be discerned.It stood absolutely alone.The house was rather large,and the windows of some of the rooms were nailed up with boards on the outside,which gave a particularly deserted appearance to the whole erection.
From the front door an irregular series of rough and misshapen steps,cut in the solid rock,led down to the edge of the streamlet,which,at their extremity,was hollowed into a basin through which the water trickled.This was evidently the means of water supply to the dweller or dwellers in the cottage.
A light footstep was heard descending from the higher slopes of the hillside.Indistinct in the pathway appeared a moving female shape,who advanced and knocked timidly at the door.No answer being returned the knock was repeated,with the same result,and it was then repeated a third time.This also was unsuccessful.
From one of the only two windows on the ground floor which were not boarded up came rays of light,no shutter or curtain obscuring the room from the eyes of a passer on the outside.So few walked that way after nightfall that any such means to secure secrecy were probably deemed unnecessary.
The inequality of the rays falling upon the trees outside told that the light had its origin in a flickering fire only.The visitor,after the third knocking,stepped a little to the left in order to gain a view of the interior,and threw back the hood from her face.The dancing yellow sheen revealed the fair and anxious countenance of Elfride.
Inside the house this firelight was enough to illumine the room distinctly,and to show that the furniture of the cottage was superior to what might have been expected from so unpromising an exterior.It also showed to Elfride that the room was empty.
