And have you never kissed many ladies?she whispered,hoping he would say a hundred at the least.
The time,the circumstances,and the scene were such as to draw confidences from the most reserved.Elfride,whispered Knight in reply,it is strange you should have asked that question.But Ill answer it,though I have never told such a thing before.I have been rather absurd in my avoidance of women.I have never given a woman a kiss in my life,except yourself and my mother.
The man of two and thirty with the experienced mind warmed all over with a boys ingenuous shame as he made the confession.
What,not one?she faltered.
No;not one.
How very strange!
Yes,the reverse experience may be commoner.And yet,to those who have observed their own sex,as I have,my case is not remarkable.Men about town are womens favourites--thats the postulate--and superficial people dont think far enough to see that there may be reserved,lonely exceptions.
Are you proud of it,Harry?
No,indeed.Of late years I have wished I had gone my ways and trod out my measure like lighter-hearted men.I have thought of how many happy experiences I may have lost through never going to woo.
Then why did you hold aloof?
I cannot say.I dont think it was my nature to:circumstance hindered me,perhaps.I have regretted it for another reason.
This great remissness of mine has had its effect upon me.The older I have grown,the more distinctly have I perceived that it was absolutely preventing me from liking any woman who was not as unpractised as I;and I gave up the expectation of finding a nineteenth-century young lady in my own raw state.Then I found you,Elfride,and l felt for the first time that my fastidiousness was a blessing.And it helped to make me worthy of you.I felt at once that,differing as we did in other experiences,in this matter I resembled you.Well,arent you glad to hear it,Elfride?
Yes,I am,she answered in a forced voice.But I always had thought that men made lots of engagements before they married--especially if they dont marry very young.
So all women think,I suppose--and rightly,indeed,of the majority of bachelors,as I said before.But an appreciable minority of slow-coach men do not--and it makes them very awkward when they do come to the point.However,it didnt matter in my case.
Why?she asked uneasily.
Because you know even less of love-making and matrimonial prearrangement than I,and so you cant draw invidious comparisons if I do my engaging improperly.
I think you do it beautifully!
Thank you,dear.But,continued Knight laughingly,your opinion is not that of an expert,which alone is of value.
Had she answered,Yes,it is,half as strongly as she felt it,Knight might have been a little astonished.
If you had ever been engaged to be married before,he went on,I expect your opinion of my addresses would be different.But then,I should not----
Should not what,Harry?
Oh,I was merely going to say that in that case I should never have given myself the pleasure of proposing to you,since your freedom from that experience was your attraction,darling.
You are severe on women,are you not?
No,I think not.I had a right to please my taste,and that was for untried lips.Other men than those of my sort acquire the taste as they get older--but dont find an Elfride----
What horrid sound is that we hear when we pitch forward?
Only the screw--dont find an Elfride as I did.To think that I should have discovered such an unseen flower down there in the West--to whom a man is as much as a multitude to some women,and a trip down the English Channel like a voyage round the world!
And would you,she said,and her voice was tremulous,have given up a lady--if you had become engaged to her--and then found she had had ONE kiss before yours--and would you have--gone away and left her?
One kiss,--no,hardly for that.
Two?
Well--I could hardly say inventorially like that.Too much of that sort of thing certainly would make me dislike a woman.But let us confine our attention to ourselves,not go thinking of might have beens.
So Elfride had allowed her thoughts to dally with false surmise,and every one of Knights words fell upon her like a weight.
After this they were silent for a long time,gazing upon the black mysterious sea,and hearing the strange voice of the restless wind.A rocking to and fro on the waves,when the breeze is not too violent and cold,produces a soothing effect even upon the most highly-wrought mind.Elfride slowly sank against Knight,and looking down,he found by her soft regular breathing that she had fallen asleep.Not wishing to disturb her,he continued still,and took an intense pleasure in supporting her warm young form as it rose and fell with her every breath.
