Oh! brother, you don't know what a fund of happi-ness you have in store.
MANLY
I fear, sister, I have not refinement sufficient to enjoy it.
CHARLOTTE
Oh! you cannot fail being pleased.
LETITIA
Our ladies are so delicate and dressy.
CHARLOTTE
And our beaux so dressy and delicate.
LETITIA
Our ladies chat and flirt so agreeably.
CHARLOTTE
And our beaux simper and bow so gracefully.
LETITIA
With their hair so trim and neat.
CHARLOTTE
And their faces so soft and sleek.
LETITIA
Their buckles so tonish and bright.
CHARLOTTE
And their hands so slender and white.
LETITIA
I vow, Charlotte, we are quite poetical.
CHARLOTTE
And then, brother, the faces of the beaux are of such a lily-white hue! None of that horrid robustness of constitution, that vulgar corn-fed glow of health, which can only serve to alarm an unmarried lady with apprehension, and prove a melancholy memento to a married one, that she can never hope for the happiness of being a widow.I will say this to the credit of our city beaux, that such is the delicacy of their complex-ion, dress, and address, that, even had I no reliance upon the honour of the dear Adonises, I would trust myself in any possible situation with them, without the least apprehensions of rudeness.
MANLY
Sister Charlotte!
CHARLOTTE
Now, now, now, brother [interrupting him], now don't go to spoil my mirth with a dash of your grav-ity; I am so glad to see you, I am in tiptop spirits.
Oh! that you could be with us at a little snug party.
There is Billy Simper, Jack Chaffe, and Colonel Van Titter, Miss Promonade, and the two Miss Tambours, sometimes make a party, with some other ladies, in a side-box at the play.Everything is conducted with such decorum.First we bow round to the company in general, then to each one in particular, then we have so many inquiries after each other's health, and we are so happy to meet each other, and it is so many ages since we last had that pleasure, and if a married lady is in company, we have such a sweet dissertation upon her son Bobby's chin-cough; then the curtain rises, then our sensibility is all awake, and then, by the mere force of apprehension, we torture some harmless expression into a double meaning, which the poor au-thor never dreamt of, and then we have recourse to our fans, and then we blush, and then the gentlemen jog one another, peep under the fan, and make the prettiest remarks; and then we giggle and they simper, and they giggle and we simper, and then the curtain drops, and then for nuts and oranges, and then we bow, and it's pray, Ma'am, take it, and pray, Sir, keep it, and oh! not for the world, Sir; and then the curtain rises again, and then we blush and giggle and simper and bow all over again.Oh! the sentimental charms of a side-box conversation! [All laugh.]
MANLY
Well, sister, I join heartily with you in the laugh;for, in my opinion, it is as justifiable to laugh at folly as it is reprehensible to ridicule misfortune.
CHARLOTTE
Well, but, brother, positively I can't introduce you in these clothes: why, your coat looks as if it were calculated for the vulgar purpose of keeping yourself comfortable.
MANLY
This coat was my regimental coat in the late war.
The public tumults of our state have induced me to buckle on the sword in support of that government which I once fought to establish.I can only say, sister, that there was a time when this coat was re-spectable, and some people even thought that those men who had endured so many winter campaigns in the service of their country, without bread, clothing, or pay, at least deserved that the poverty of their appearance should not be ridiculed.
CHARLOTTE
We agree in opinion entirely, brother, though it would not have done for me to have said it: it is the coat makes the man respectable.In the time of the war, when we were almost frightened to death, why, your coat was respectable, that is, fashionable; now another kind of coat is fashionable, that is, respectable.
And pray direct the taylor to make yours the height of the fashion.
MANLY
Though it is of little consequence to me of what shape my coat is, yet, as to the height of the fashion, there you will please to excuse me, sister.You know my sentiments on that subject.I have often lamented the advantage which the French have over us in that particular.In Paris, the fashions have their dawnings, their routine, and declensions, and depend as much upon the caprice of the day as in other countries; but there every lady assumes a right to deviate from the general ton as far as will be of advantage to her own appearance.In America, the cry is, what is the fashion? and we follow it indiscriminately, because it is so.
CHARLOTTE
Therefore it is, that when large hoops are in fashion, we often see many a plump girl lost in the immensity of a hoop-petticoat, whose want of height and en-bon-point would never have been remarked in any other dress.When the high head-dress is the mode, how then do we see a lofty cushion, with a profusion of gauze, feathers, and ribband, supported by a face no bigger than an apple! whilst a broad full-faced lady, who really would have appeared tolerably handsome in a large head-dress, looks with her smart chapeau as masculine as a soldier.
MANLY
But remember, my dear sister, and I wish all my fair country-women would recollect, that the only ex-cuse a young lady can have for going extravagantly into a fashion is because it makes her look extrava-gantly handsome.--Ladies, I must wish you a good morning.
CHARLOTTE
But, brother, you are going to make home with us.
MANLY
Indeed I cannot.I have seen my uncle and explained that matter.
CHARLOTTE
Come and dine with us, then.We have a family dinner about half-past four o'clock.
MANLY
I am engaged to dine with the Spanish ambassador.
I was introduced to him by an old brother officer; and instead of freezing me with a cold card of compliment to dine with him ten days hence, he, with the true old Castilian frankness, in a friendly manner, asked me to dine with him to-day--an honour I could not refuse.
