A wedding is a licensed subject to joke upon, but there really is no great joke in the matter after all;--we speak merely of the ceremony, and beg it to be distinctly understood that we indulge in no hidden sarcasm upon a married life.Mixed up with the pleasure and joy of the occasion, are the many regrets at quitting home, the tears of parting between parent and child, the consciousness of leaving the dearest and kindest friends of the happiest portion of human life, to encounter its cares and troubles with others still untried and little known: natural feelings which we would not render this chapter mournful by describing, and which we should be still more unwilling to be supposed to ridicule.
Let us briefly say, then, that the ceremony was performed by the old clergyman, in the parish church of Dingley Dell, and that Mr.Pickwick's name is attached to the register, still preserved in the vestry thereof;that the young lady with the black eyes signed her name in a very unsteady and tremulous manner; that Emily's signature, as the other bridesmaid, is nearly illegible; that it all went off in very admirable style; that the young ladies generally thought it far less shocking than they had expected;and that although the owner of the black eyes and the arch smile informed Mr.Winkle that she was sure she could never submit to anything so dreadful, we have the very best reasons for thinking she was mistaken.To all this, we may add, that Mr.Pickwick was the first who saluted the bride, and that in so doing, he threw over her neck a rich gold watch and chain, which no mortal eyes but the jeweller's had ever beheld before.Then, the old church bell rang as gaily as it could, and they all returned to breakfast.
"Vere does the mince pies go, young opium eater?" said Mr.Weller to the fat boy, as he assisted in laying out such articles of consumption as had not been duly arranged on the previous night.
The fat boy pointed to the destination of the pies.
"Wery good," said Sam, "stick a bit o' Christmas in 'em.T'other dish opposite.There; now we look compact and comfortable, as the father said ven he cut his little boy's head off, to cure him o' squintin'."As Mr.Weller made the comparison, he fell back a step or two, to give full effect to it, and surveyed the preparations with the utmost satisfaction.
"Wardle," said Mr.Pickwick, almost as soon as they were all seated, "a glass of wine, in honour of this happy occasion!""I shall be delighted, my boy," said Mr.Wardle."Joe--damn that boy, he's gone to sleep.""No, I ain't, sir," replied the fat boy, starting up from a remote corner, where, like the patron saint of fat boys--the immortal Horner--he had been devouring a Christmas pie: though not with the coolness and deliberation which characterised that young gentleman's proceedings.
"Fill Mr.Pickwick's glass."
"Yes, sir."
The fat boy filled Mr.Pickwick's glass, and then retired behind his master's chair, from whence he watched the play of the knives and forks, and the progress of the choice morsels from the dishes to the mouths of the company, with a kind of dark and gloomy joy that was most impressive.
"God bless you, old fellow!" said Mr.Pickwick.
"Same to you, my boy," replied Wardle; and they pledged each other, heartily.
"Mrs.Wardle," said Mr.Pickwick, "we old folks must have a glass of wine together, in honour of this joyful event."The old lady was in a state of great grandeur just then, for she was sitting at the top of the table in the brocaded gown, with her newly-married grand-daughter on one side and Mr.Pickwick on the other, to do the carving.
Mr.Pickwick had not spoken in a very loud tone, but she understood him at once, and drank off a full glass of wine to his long life and happiness;after which the worthy old soul launched forth into a minute and particular account of her own wedding, with a dissertation on the fashion of wearing high-heeled shoes, and some particulars concerning the life and adventures of the beautiful Lady Tollimglower, deceased: at all of which the old lady herself laughed very heartily indeed, and so did the young ladies too, for they were wondering among themselves what on earth grandma was talking about.When they laughed, the old lady laughed ten times more heartily, and said that these always had been considered capital stories: which caused them all to laugh again, and put the old lady into the very best of humours.
Then, the cake was cut, and passed through the ring; the young ladies saved pieces to put under their pillows to dream of their future husbands on;and a great deal of blushing and merriment was thereby occasioned.
"Mr.Miller," said Mr.Pickwick to his old acquaintance the hard-headed gentleman, "a glass of wine?""With great satisfaction, Mr.Pickwick," replied the hard-headed gentleman, solemnly.
"You'll take me in?" said the benevolent old clergyman.
"And me," interposed his wife.
"And me, and me," said a couple of poor relations at the bottom of the table, who had eaten and drank very heartily, and laughed at everything.
Mr.Pickwick expressed his heartfelt delight at every additional suggestion;and his eyes beamed with hilarity and cheerfulness.
"Ladies and gentlemen," said Mr.Pickwick, suddenly rising.
"Hear, hear! Hear, hear! Hear, hear!" cried Mr.Weller, in the excitement of his feelings.
"Call in all the servants," cried old Wardle, interposing to prevent the public rebuke which Mr.Weller would otherwise most indubitably have received from his master "Give them a glass of wine each, to drink the toast in.Now, Pickwick."Amidst the silence of the company, the whispering of the women servants, and the awkward embarrassment of the men, Mr.Pickwick proceeded.