Not long after the preceding incident, in order to get the ache of too constant labor out of my bones, and to relieve my spirit of the irksomeness of a settled routine, I took a holiday.It was my purpose to spend it all alone, from breakfast-time till twilight, in the deepest wood-seclusion that lay anywhere around us.Though fond of society, Iwas so constituted as to need these occasional retirements, even in a life like that of Blithedale, which was itself characterized by a remoteness from the world.Unless renewed by a yet further withdrawal towards the inner circle of self-communion, I lost the better part of my individuality.My thoughts became of little worth, and my sensibilities grew as arid as a tuft of moss (a thing whose life is in the shade, the rain, or the noontide dew), crumbling in the sunshine after long expectance of a shower.So, with my heart full of a drowsy pleasure, and cautious not to dissipate my mood by previous intercourse with any one, Ihurried away, and was soon pacing a wood-path, arched overhead with boughs, and dusky-brown beneath my feet.
At first I walked very swiftly, as if the heavy flood tide of social life were roaring at my heels, and would outstrip and overwhelm me, without all the better diligence in my escape.But, threading the more distant windings of the track, I abated my pace, and looked about me for some side-aisle, that should admit me into the innermost sanctuary of this green cathedral, just as, in human acquaintanceship, a casual opening sometimes lets us, all of a sudden, into the long-sought intimacy of a mysterious heart.So much was I absorbed in my reflections,--or, rather, in my mood, the substance of which was as yet too shapeless to be called thought,--that footsteps rustled on the leaves, and a figure passed me by, almost without impressing either the sound or sight upon my consciousness.
A moment afterwards, I heard a voice at a little distance behind me, speaking so sharply and impertinently that it made a complete discord with my spiritual state, and caused the latter to vanish as abruptly as when you thrust a finger into a soap-bubble.
"Halloo, friend!" cried this most unseasonable voice."Stop a moment, Isay! I must have a word with you!"
I turned about, in a humor ludicrously irate.In the first place, the interruption, at any rate, was a grievous injury; then, the tone displeased me.And finally, unless there be real affection in his heart, a man cannot,--such is the bad state to which the world has brought itself,---cannot more effectually show his contempt for a brother mortal, nor more gallingly assume a position of superiority, than by addressing him as "friend." Especially does the misapplication of this phrase bring out that latent hostility which is sure to animate peculiar sects, and those who, with however generous a purpose, have sequestered themselves from the crowd; a feeling, it is true, which may be hidden in some dog-kennel of the heart, grumbling there in the darkness, but is never quite extinct, until the dissenting party have gained power and scope enough to treat the world generously.For my part, I should have taken it as far less an insult to be styled" fellow," "clown," or "bumpkin." To either of these appellations my rustic garb (it was a linen blouse, with checked shirt and striped pantaloons, a chip hat on my head, and a rough hickory stick in my hand) very fairly entitled me.As the case stood, my temper darted at once to the opposite pole; not friend, but enemy!
"What do you want with me?" said I, facing about.
"Come a little nearer, friend," said the stranger, beckoning.
"No," answered I."If I can do anything for you without too much trouble to myself, say so.But recollect, if you please, that you are not speaking to an acquaintance, much less a friend!""Upon my word, I believe not!" retorted he, looking at me with some curiosity; and, lifting his hat, he made me a salute which had enough of sarcasm to be offensive, and just enough of doubtful courtesy to render any resentment of it absurd."But I ask your pardon! I recognize a little mistake.If I may take the liberty to suppose it, you, sir, are probably one of the aesthetic--or shall I rather say ecstatic?--laborers, who have planted themselves hereabouts.This is your forest of Arden;and you are either the banished Duke in person, or one of the chief nobles in his train.The melancholy Jacques, perhaps? Be it so.In that case, you can probably do me a favor."I never, in my life, felt less inclined to confer a favor on any man.
"I am busy," said I.
So unexpectedly had the stranger made me sensible of his presence, that he had almost the effect of an apparition; and certainly a less appropriate one (taking into view the dim woodland solitude about us)than if the salvage man of antiquity, hirsute and cinctured with a leafy girdle, had started out of a thicket.He was still young, seemingly a little under thirty, of a tall and well-developed figure, and as handsome a man as ever I beheld.The style of his beauty, however, though a masculine style, did not at all commend itself to my taste.His countenance--I hardly know how to describe the peculiarity--had an indecorum in it, a kind of rudeness, a hard, coarse, forth-putting freedom of expression, which no degree of external polish could have abated one single jot.Not that it was vulgar.But he had no fineness of nature; there was in his eyes (although they might have artifice enough of another sort) the naked exposure of something that ought not to be left prominent.With these vague allusions to what I have seen in other faces as well as his, I leave the quality to be comprehended best--because with an intuitive repugnance--by those who possess least of it.
