登陆注册
15317200000154

第154章

`It couldn't,' said Ursula.`They are all too damp, the powder is damp in them.'

`I'm not so sure of that,' said Gerald.

`Nor I,' said Birkin.`When the English really begin to go off, en masse, it'll be time to shut your ears and run.'

`They never will,' said Ursula.

`We'll see,' he replied.

`Isn't it marvellous,' said Gudrun, `how thankful one can be, to be out of one's country.I cannot believe myself, I am so transported, the moment I set foot on a foreign shore.I say to myself "Here steps a new creature into life."'

`Don't be too hard on poor old England,' said Gerald.`Though we curse it, we love it really.'

To Ursula, there seemed a fund of cynicism in these words.

`We may,' said Birkin.`But it's a damnably uncomfortable love: like a love for an aged parent who suffers horribly from a complication of diseases, for which there is no hope.'

Gudrun looked at him with dilated dark eyes.

`You think there is no hope?' she asked, in her pertinent fashion.

But Birkin backed away.He would not answer such a question.

`Any hope of England's becoming real? God knows.It's a great actual unreality now, an aggregation into unreality.It might be real, if there were no Englishmen.'

`You think the English will have to disappear?' persisted Gudrun.It was strange, her pointed interest in his answer.It might have been her own fate she was inquiring after.Her dark, dilated eyes rested on Birkin, as if she could conjure the truth of the future out of him, as out of some instrument of divination.

He was pale.Then, reluctantly, he answered:

`Well -- what else is in front of them, but disappearance? They've got to disappear from their own special brand of Englishness, anyhow.'

Gudrun watched him as if in a hypnotic state, her eyes wide and fixed on him.

`But in what way do you mean, disappear? --' she persisted.

`Yes, do you mean a change of heart?' put in Gerald.

`I don't mean anything, why should I?' said Birkin.`I'm an Englishman, and I've paid the price of it.I can't talk about England -- I can only speak for myself.'

`Yes,' said Gudrun slowly, `you love England immensely, immensely , Rupert.'

`And leave her,' he replied.

`No, not for good.You'll come back,' said Gerald, nodding sagely.

`They say the lice crawl off a dying body,' said Birkin, with a glare of bitterness.`So I leave England.'

`Ah, but you'll come back,' said Gudrun, with a sardonic smile.

`Tant pis pour moi,' he replied.

`Isn't he angry with his mother country!' laughed Gerald, amused.

`Ah, a patriot!' said Gudrun, with something like a sneer.

Birkin refused to answer any more.

Gudrun watched him still for a few seconds.Then she turned away.It was finished, her spell of divination in him.She felt already purely cynical.

She looked at Gerald.He was wonderful like a piece of radium to her.She felt she could consume herself and know all , by means of this fatal, living metal.She smiled to herself at her fancy.And what would she do with herself, when she had destroyed herself? For if spirit, if integral being is destructible, Matter is indestructible.

He was looking bright and abstracted, puzzled, for the moment.She stretched out her beautiful arm, with its fluff of green tulle, and touched his chin with her subtle, artist's fingers.

`What are they then?' she asked, with a strange, knowing smile.

`What?' he replied, his eyes suddenly dilating with wonder.

`Your thoughts.'

Gerald looked like a man coming awake.

`I think I had none,' he said.

`Really!' she said, with grave laughter in her voice.

And to Birkin it was as if she killed Gerald, with that touch.

`Ah but,' cried Gudrun, `let us drink to Britannia -- let us drink to Britannia.'

It seemed there was wild despair in her voice.Gerald laughed, and filled the glasses.

`I think Rupert means,' he said, `that nationally all Englishmen must die, so that they can exist individually and -- '

`Super-nationally --' put in Gudrun, with a slight ironic grimace, raising her glass.

The next day, they descended at the tiny railway station of Hohenhausen, at the end of the tiny valley railway.It was snow everywhere, a white, perfect cradle of snow, new and frozen, sweeping up an either side, black crags, and white sweeps of silver towards the blue pale heavens.

As they stepped out on the naked platform, with only snow around and above, Gudrun shrank as if it chilled her heart.

`My God, Jerry,' she said, turning to Gerald with sudden intimacy, `you've done it now.'

`What?'

She made a faint gesture, indicating the world on either hand.

`Look at it!'

She seemed afraid to go on.He laughed.

They were in the heart of the mountains.From high above, on either side, swept down the white fold of snow, so that one seemed small and tiny in a valley of pure concrete heaven, all strangely radiant and changeless and silent.

`It makes one feel so small and alone,' said Ursula, turning to Birkin and laying her hand on his arm.

`You're not sorry you've come, are you?' said Gerald to Gudrun.

She looked doubtful.They went out of the station between banks of snow.

`Ah,' said Gerald, sniffing the air in elation, `this is perfect.There's our sledge.We'll walk a bit -- we'll run up the road.'

Gudrun, always doubtful, dropped her heavy coat on the sledge, as he did his, and they set off.Suddenly she threw up her head and set off scudding along the road of snow, pulling her cap down over her ears.Her blue, bright dress fluttered in the wind, her thick scarlet stockings were brilliant above the whiteness.Gerald watched her: she seemed to be rushing towards her fate, and leaving him behind.He let her get some distance, then, loosening his limbs, he went after her.

Everywhere was deep and silent snow.Great snow-eaves weighed down the broad-roofed Tyrolese houses, that were sunk to the window-sashes in snow.

Peasant-women, full-skirted, wearing each a cross-over shawl, and thick snow-boots, turned in the way to look at the soft, determined girl running with such heavy fleetness from the man, who was overtaking her, but not gaining any power over her.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 悲与美

    悲与美

    《悲与美》收录了周安林30年间所写的30篇文章(大部分在多家报刊公开发表过),分为3辑,第一辑为文学评论,主要针对悲剧艺术及美学欣赏,观点新颖,逻辑清晰,内容丰富,论述严谨;第二辑为散文,寄情于景,清新自然,言之有物;第三辑记人叙事,主要针对作者的亲人及闽东的名人和好人,人物刻画到位,情感真挚,读之令人动容。三辑一脉相承,正是作者对悲剧的研究与理解,才尤为真爱人性、人情中的真善美。
  • 今生你是我最美的遗憾

    今生你是我最美的遗憾

    随着网络的普及,网恋已成了必然现象。男男女女们在网上恣意的说着不能对熟人说的心里话,发泄着心里的不满。也有的人在网上找到了自己心仪的另一半。中年人也没有幸免,抱着对网络的新奇,心底的期盼,他们迈出了不该迈的那一步。有的妻离子散,更有的家破人亡。但也有人付出了真情,怀着心中的道义,肩上的责任,最终他们放下了心底的那份爱,那份真情,回归到了各自的家庭。相约许下:如果有来生,她要第一个遇见他,嫁他为妻,永生相伴。如果有来生,他愿等她,等她长大,娶她为妻,再续前缘。.......
  • 这个特工不太冷

    这个特工不太冷

    年轻特工柯诚,在十八岁成年之际,选择了退役。本打算靠着“退休金”过日子的他,在回农村老家的时候,突然发现一件很操蛋事情。“尼玛,劳资银行卡谁盗的!”带着悲剧,柯诚再一次进了城。身揣百元的他,在华京市城郊的十字路口,偶遇一个疯癫老头儿,说他骨骼惊奇,必是练武奇才,强塞“绝世秘籍”《天下第二诀》一本,柯诚看着疯老头跑远的身影,心中默默自嘲:连疯子都欺负我……一代武力传奇,由此开始!
  • 青灵果

    青灵果

    一百年前。寻找青灵果的小子意外的吃掉红麟果,变成半妖之身,不得已在时间圣地修行了数年,可不想出来之后早已过去一百年之久。因为一场意外被一家人收留,三年后前往圣都的魔法学院,而故事正从这所学院开始了......
  • 群凤缭绕

    群凤缭绕

    历代宫中斗争本就许多,为了巩固自身势力,为家族获得最大的利益,要么入朝为官,要么入宫为妃。她,莫丽园,本就是一单纯女孩,生性善良却是被那后世纷争所感染。为了生存,她明白一个道理,那就是抛弃自己的理想与本心。在那混乱的后宫之中,与万千妃宠争斗。在政治势力之中,为家族铲除异己,排斥外敌。在感情生活上,抛开一切欲望,把最爱的人屏蔽在感知之外。付出许多,她只为一个词,“权力!”人生如同一本故事,本就是曲折波伏,最终的她又能否如愿,真登上那万人之上的宝座?
  • 新任魔王的综漫游记

    新任魔王的综漫游记

    因为对剧情的掌握有问题的原因,现在打算推倒重写。名字还是这个名字,可是出场人物会改。呀呀,话说回来还真是白写了6W多字,我的膝盖应该是被神枪射中过了吧……现在在想要不要删掉这6W多字。果然呀,仅凭我一个初级中二写小说什么的还是太不自量力了。对了,类型还是综漫同人。让我想想还有什么要说的…………好像没了。哈哈,就这样吧。希望书评区里不会开骂吧……(对了,书评区里那个关于杏子的问题,不是我考虑漏了,是应为还没来得及写那里。)
  • 炫舞时代:嘿,大神

    炫舞时代:嘿,大神

    【不定时更新】炫舞时代是个薄情的游戏,不过感谢它让我遇见了深情的你。——殷洛竹。我认为我不会恋爱,只是却有了变数,那变数就是你。——乔渊凝。
  • 蓝莲花

    蓝莲花

    《蓝莲花》)是一本写给理想主义者的书。不同于其他年青作者的青春题材作品,虽然书中的几个主要人物都是风华正茂的青年,都有各自相爱的恋人,故事展开的地点也有相当一部分是在大学校园,但是,“言情”并不是小说的初衷,爱情只是其中无法回避的一部分。这里没有爱马仕、LV,没有旋转餐厅、海天盛筵,没有“宝马香车丽人来”,没有郭四娘,更没有《小时代》。这里有的是一群有血有肉的小青年,有他们的爱与恨,泪与笑,追寻与逃避,脉脉含情与歇斯底里,以及除此之外的一无所有……
  • 我家林场有个星球

    我家林场有个星球

    大学毕业既失业的江毅发现父亲承包的林场空气清新的吓人,不但生长的野菜蘑菇风味独特,还能长出有白钻石之称的白松露。而且他在林场还发现一种神秘白色颗粒,能使动物快速增长且能产生变异,味道更是鲜美无比。于是江毅彪悍的人生开始了,种种蔬菜养养鸡,都能数钱数到手抽筋。
  • 野兽面具

    野兽面具

    一位被停职的刑侦队队长,一起没有留下犯罪现场的凶杀案,一场蓄谋已久的肮脏交易。面具背后是人还是野兽......