He wished, without reserve, that he was at home again making the endless rounds from the house to the barn, from the barn to the fields, from the fields to the barn, from the barn to the house.He remembered he had often cursed the brindle cow and her mates, and had sometimes flung milking stools.But, from his present point of view, there was a halo of happiness about each of their heads, and he would have sacrificed all the brass buttons on the continent to have been enabled to return to them.He told himself that he was not formed for a soldier.And he mused seriously upon the radical differences between himself and those men who were dodging imp-like around the fires.
As he mused thus he heard the rustle of grass, and, upon turning his head, discovered the loud soldier.He called out, "Oh, Wilson!"The latter approached and looked down.
"Why, hello, Henry; is it you? What you do-ing here?"
"Oh, thinking," said the youth.
The other sat down and carefully lighted his pipe."You're getting blue, my boy.You're looking thundering peeked.What the dickens is wrong with you?""Oh, nothing," said the youth.
The loud soldier launched then into the sub-ject of the anticipated fight."Oh, we've got 'em now!" As he spoke his boyish face was wreathed in a gleeful smile, and his voice had an exultant ring."We've got 'em now.At last, by the eternal thunders, we'll lick 'em good!""If the truth was known," he added, more soberly, "THEY'VE licked US about every clip up to now; but this time--this time--we'll lick 'em good!""I thought you was objecting to this march a little while ago," said the youth coldly.
"Oh, it wasn't that," explained the other."Idon't mind marching, if there's going to be fight-ing at the end of it.What I hate is this getting moved here and moved there, with no good com-ing of it, as far as I can see, excepting sore feet and damned short rations.""Well, Jim Conklin says we'll get a plenty of fighting this time.""He's right for once, I guess, though I can't see how it come.This time we're in for a big battle, and we've got the best end of it, certain sure.Gee rod! how we will thump 'em!"He arose and began to pace to and fro excit-edly.The thrill of his enthusiasm made him walk with an elastic step.He was sprightly, vigorous, fiery in his belief in success.He looked into the future with clear, proud eye, and he swore with the air of an old soldier.
The youth watched him for a moment in silence.When he finally spoke his voice was as bitter as dregs."Oh, you're going to do great things, I s'pose!"The loud soldier blew a thoughtful cloud of smoke from his pipe."Oh, I don't know," he remarked with dignity; "I don't know.I s'pose I'll do as well as the rest.I'm going to try like thunder." He evidently complimented himself upon the modesty of this statement.
"How do you know you won't run when the time comes?" asked the youth.
"Run?" said the loud one; "run?--of course not!" He laughed.
"Well," continued the youth, "lots of good-a-'nough men have thought they was going to do great things before the fight, but when the time come they skedaddled.""Oh, that's all true, I s'pose," replied the other; "but I'm not going to skedaddle.The man that bets on my running will lose his money, that's all." He nodded confidently.
"Oh, shucks!" said the youth."You ain't the bravest man in the world, are you?""No, I ain't," exclaimed the loud soldier in-dignantly; "and I didn't say I was the bravest man in the world, neither.I said I was going to do my share of fighting--that's what I said.And I am, too.Who are you, anyhow.You talk as if you thought you was Napoleon Bonaparte."He glared at the youth for a moment, and then strode away.
The youth called in a savage voice after his comrade: "Well, you needn't git mad about it!"But the other continued on his way and made no reply.
He felt alone in space when his injured com-rade had disappeared.His failure to discover any mite of resemblance in their view points made him more miserable than before.No one seemed to be wrestling with such a terrific per-sonal problem.He was a mental outcast.
He went slowly to his tent and stretched him-self on a blanket by the side of the snoring tall soldier.In the darkness he saw visions of a thou-sand-tongued fear that would babble at his back and cause him to flee, while others were going coolly about their country's business.He admit-ted that he would not be able to cope with this monster.He felt that every nerve in his body would be an ear to hear the voices, while other men would remain stolid and deaf.
And as he sweated with the pain of these thoughts, he could hear low, serene sentences.
"I'll bid five." "Make it six." "Seven.""Seven goes."
He stared at the red, shivering reflection of a fire on the white wall of his tent until, ex-hausted and ill from the monotony of his suf-fering, he fell asleep.
