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第8章 THE LUMLEY AUTOGRAPH(8)

"And then she herself actually once made proposals for Schinderhannes, to a friend of mine, offering Howard, the philanthropist, Talma, William Penn, and Fenelon for him--all commonplace enough, you know--and Schinderhannes quite unique.My friend was indignant!"{Schinderhannes = German bandit chief, executed in 1803.Howard = John Howard (1726-1790), English philanthropist and prison reformer.Talma = Francois Talma (1763-1826), popular French playwright.William Penn (1644-1718), Quaker founder of Pennsylvania.Fenelon = Francois Fenelon (1651-1715), French Archbishop and writer}

I ventured to excuse Lady Holberton by suggesting that probably at the time her stock of notabilities was low.

Miss Rowley shook her head, and curled her lip, as if she fancied the lady had only been seeking to drive a hard bargain.

"On one point, however, I have carried the day, Mr.Howard.Lady Holberton is not a little proud of her Vidocq; but I have obtained one far superior to hers, one addressed to myself so piquant and gallant too.Icalled on the dear old burglar on purpose to coax him into writing me a note."{Vidocq = Francois Vidocq (1775-1857), French police detective who turned robber, and was exposed in 1832.}

I wondered, in petto, whether I should meet any illustrious convicts at Miss Rowley's party the next evening; but remembering to have heard her called an exclusive, it did not seem very probable.

{in petto = silently, to oneself (Latin)}

After running her eye over the list again, Miss Rowley made another inquiry.

"Mr.Howard, could you get me something from an American Colonel?"I assured the lady we had colonels of all sorts, and begged to know what particular variety she had placed on her catalogue--was it an officer of the regular service, or one of no service at all?

"Oh, the last, certainly--officers who have seen service are so commonplace!"My own pen was immediately placed at Miss Rowley's disposal, as my sword would have been, had I owned one.As I had been called colonel a hundred times without having commanded a regiment once, my own name was as good as any other on the present occasion.

"You are very obliging.Since you are so good, may I also trouble you to procure me a line from a very remarkable personage of your country--a very distinguished man--he has been President, or Speaker of the Senate, or something of that sort."To which of our head men did Miss Rowley allude? "He is called Uncle Sam, I believe."{Uncle Sam = "Uncle Sam" became a popular personification of the United States during the War of 1812, replacing Brother Jonathan, and was often used in contradistinction to the British "John Bull"}

This was not so easy a task, for though we have thousands of colonels, there is but one Uncle Sam in the world.On hearing that such was the case, Miss Rowley's anxiety on the subject increased immeasurably; but I assured her the old gentleman only put his name to treaties, and tariffs;and although his sons were wonderfully gallant, yet he himself had never condescended to notice any woman but a queen regnant: and I further endeavored to give some idea of his identity.Miss Rowley stopped me short, however.

"Only procure me one line from him, Mr.Howard, and I shall be indebted to you for life.It will be time enough to find out all about him when I once have his name--that is the essential thing."I shrunk from committing myself, however; declaring that I would as soon engage to procure a billet-doux from Prester John.

{Prester John = Mythical ruler believed in the Middle Ages to head a powerful Christian Kingdom somewhere in Asia; later identified with the Christian Kings of Ethiopia in Africa}

"Prester John! That would, indeed, be quite invaluable!"This Asiatic diversion was a happy one, and came very apropos, for it carried Miss Rowley into China; she inquired if I had any Chinese connections.

"Though altogether, I am pretty well satisfied with my Chinese negotiations; as soon as the Celestial Empire was opened to the civilized world, I engaged an agent there to collect for me.But, could you put me on the track of a Confucius?"{opened to the civilized world = following the so-called Opium War, Britain had in 1842 forced China to open trade with her}

I was obliged to admit my inability to do so; and at the same moment the collecting instincts of Lady Holberton and Mr.T--, drew their attention to the corner where Miss Rowley and myself were conversing; as they moved toward us, Miss Rowley pocketed her list, throwing herself upon my honor not to betray the deficiencies in her role d'equipage, or the collecting negociations just opened between us.Lady Holberton, as she advanced, invited Miss Rowley, with an ill-concealed air of triumph, to feast her eyes once more on the Lumley autograph, and not long after the party broke up.

{role d'equipage = muster roll (French); here, Miss Rowley's list of her autographs}

The next day, in passing Holberton-House, I observed the chariot of afashionable physician before the door; and at Miss Rowley's party in the evening learned from Mr.T-- that Lady Holberton was quite unwell.The following morning I called to inquire, and received for answer that "her ladyship was very much indisposed." It was not until a week later that I saw Lady Holberton herself, taking the air in Hyde Park.She looked wretchedly--thin and pale.I inquired from the English friend with whom I was riding, if there was any probability of a change of ministry? He looked surprised; and then catching the direction of my eye, he observed,"You ask on Lady Holberton's account; but Sir A-- B-- tells me her illness was caused by the loss of the Lumley Autograph."This unexpected intelligence proved only too true.On returning to my lodgings, I found a note from Lady Holberton, requesting to see me, and, of course, immediately obeyed the summons.

"Lost!--lost!--lost! Mr.Howard!" said the lady, endeavoring to conceal her emotion, as she gave me the details of her affliction.

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